Silver Slits
by halfdemon-kai
Summary: "They didn't like me much either," he assured her, "They're just scared." "Scared of what?" she asked with confusion. "Of how great you actually might turn out to be." Prequel to Silver Sliver
1. Average Child

Hey everyone! I know, what am I thinking? Lol. Well incase no one noticed, this is the _**Prequel**_ to _**Silver Sliver. **_My best buddy Kazegami-Inkpot suggested a sequel, but I had no ideas for an after so I made a before. :3 Lol. Thank you all to who read _**Silver Sliver**_ I hope that you all liked it and I hope that you all enjoy the first chapter of the _**prequel. **_Enjoy. :3

**Silver Slits**

**Average Child**

He never expected that he would have someone to care about. He had seen himself wandering the lands on his own; no one standing beside him. That was until he met **her**. She changed everything for him. At least… that had been what he had hoped. The future never had been set in stone.

* * *

He stood before his father, looking up at him with his golden orbs. His father was a mighty demon lord; a being of supreme power. His father was who he admired most; the one he hoped to turn out as great as.

"Sesshoumaru, my son," his father called, staring down at him with a small smile on his lips, "At the age of fourteen, I believe that it is time for you to see the lives of others outside of the palace."

He had never seen anyone from outside the palace and was quite curious towards these humans. They were intriguing to him.

"Thank you father," he said while bowing to his father, "I will not abuse the privilege."

"I know that you won't my son," the western lord nodded, "Now go be curious."

"As you wish father."

He turned to leave and visit his ill mother. She had been weak from birth and the illness started to take affect after his birth. Even though she was ill, she was a proud dog demon. He assumed that that was where he got to be so proud as well. His mother had a rather… cold demeanor to her beautiful appearance. Her black hair was shown well with her favorite pink silk kimono and porcelain skin.

As he passed servants in the hallways, they bowed to him.

"Good morning master Sesshoumaru," a woman greeted him with a bow.

"Is there anything you would like, young master?" an older man asked pleasantly.

"No," he replied as he walked on, "Nothing shall be necessary."

"O-of course young master," the elderly man bowed before leaving.

**- - - - **

_Somewhere, far away from here  
_

_I saw __stars, stars that I could reach __**(yeah)**__  
_

_It was a midnight, a silent twilight  
_

_Fell down, beyond the ocean beach __**(yeah)**_

_I assemble all the sand that cover wedding beaches_

_To build a castle so your mom would have a place to stay  
_

_Behind the water slide and down the hill where heaven reaches  
_

_Land and time is left to float away __**(yeah)**_

**- - - - **

He didn't like how the servants treated him like he would slaughter them if they did something wrong. His father did not treat them as such, then why should he have?

"Did you call for me, mother?" he asked as he reached the outside of her door.

His mother only had one personal servant upon which she favored. Maybe it was his mother that made the servants fearful of him. Her cold nature had been passed on to him, though he did not use it often.

"Yes, please come in my son," her voice replied rather pleasantly.

Slowly, his hand opened the chamber door and he came in to see that today she wasn't wearing her favorite kimono, but rather a light blue one with white spots in a random design.

"You look very graceful, mother. As always," he stated, smiling slightly as he bowed.

He never was one for smiling at will.

"Yes," she agreed, nodding her head, "but I prefer the pink one more."

"I like that one," he admitted, "It reminds me of the snow."

His golden eyes looked at his mother's brown ones. They were a light brown that could have been mistaken for orange.

"Your father has told me that you are leaving the palace today," she stated, watching him with a small smile on her face.

She wasn't happy like she was pretending to be. He could tell by her tone that she didn't believe that it was right. She never wanted him to meet those mortals that lived outside the walls.

"Yes, he has given me permission to see how the villagers live," he replied, not breaking his gaze with his mother.

His smile was gone and his tone was emotionless. He wanted to see first hand why demons hated the mortals.

"Sesshoumaru, allow me to tell you a story," his mother started, "Not so much a story, but about a vermin that walks between the two species."

He looked at his mother with a slightly cocked brow. He had never been told about another species. There had always just been humans and demons.

"There is a time where a demon might fall in love with a human mortal. Such a time is rare, but it does happen. That is how the vermin came to be," she started to explain; her eyes looked at the wall to her right.

She had paintings on each wall. They were lined up beside on another, almost as if they had been telling a story.

"That is how half breeds came to be. They are the vermin that are not welcome amongst demons or humans. Neither species wants them, so when they are found they are either left alone or killed. The hate between our species and theirs is strong, so a half breed doesn't belong," his mother finished explaining, turning her attention back to him.

"What are you saying mother?" he asked with slightly furrowed brows.

"The humans will probably not welcome you to their village my son," she stated, pretending to have an apologetic expression on her small face.

"That is fine with me, mother," he stated, bowing before turning to leave, "I just have a curiosity that needs to be filled."

With that, he left his mother in her chamber. He did not wish to listen to her fake worries any longer.

**- - - - **

_So rest assured I have the key to every opening  
_

_To every wishing well deep thats enough to drink __**(drink)**__  
_

_I want to show you just how fascinating kissing is  
_

_When earth collides with all the space between __**(yeah)**_

_I'm reaching farther than I ever have before_

_Leaving all who broke your heart upon the shore  
_

**- - - - **

He walked down the hallways of the palace towards the outside gate. He wanted to see what these humans were like… if they were really as his mother had said. Demons could be vicious creatures. Surely not all humans were the same. Even demons were quite different.

"Open the gate," he told the guard that stood on the inside of the gate.

"Are you leaving the palace master Sesshoumaru?" the guard asked with curiosity.

"My father had given me orders to leave," he stated, his golden orbs staring at the older demon guard.

The guard did as was said; he opened the gate rather quickly. It was at a time like that that he was grateful towards their fear of him.

It was rather sunny outside as he made his way toward the village. The forest wasn't that thick, but there was no trail to lead to the village. No human wished to cross demon territory. They were fearful towards them.

"Strange creatures," he murmured to himself, finding his mind wandering towards the idea of half breeds.

Were they really such bad, vile creatures? Had they done something wrong to be considered as bad creatures? Was there even really a reason for the species' hate?

"Probably the problem of power," he whispered before reaching the village in the middle of the forest.

There it was… the poor village that lived so close to the palace. It wasn't really a far distance.

His golden orbs looked over the small village. There were only twenty to thirty huts at the most. Even the rice field was rather small as he looked at it. Being surrounded by a lot of forest… it was no wonder that the village people were poor. No human would pass through a lengthy forest by trail if they didn't have to.

The hill was slightly steep as he made his way down in his white hoari. There was a little bit of blue on his sleeves and his obi was yellow. The colours rather mismatched, but he didn't really care. Such trivial things did not matter to him. He did not stumble as he made it to the bottom of the hill. Once he took his first step toward the village, he could feel that this would be different than his home. This would change how he saw a lot of things.

He walked through the poor village with curious eyes. He had never seen such a village and he was still curious to how the humans lived. No matter what his mother had said, her words didn't change his mind. He hated being told how to decide. As he came to the small market, he could hear some of the humans' words.

"Isn't that a demon child?"

"I think it is…"

"Do you think it belongs to that **other** demon?"

"No, look at how he's dressed! It doesn't belong with that half breed."

Half breed? They had one of those close by? Their words seemed to intrigue him. He wanted to meet this half breed.

As he walked on, he heard more clamor and nonsense from the humans. From what he saw, they were a weak race and really were quite fearful. They were also quick to hate.

Then he found a silent part of the poor village. Things were spread out and there didn't seem to be anything around… nothing except the sound of squawking chickens and someone grumbling.

"Aw come on!" his sensitive ears heard a small girl's voice before they heard the slamming of wood.

What on earth was that child doing?

He rounded a corner and his golden orbs widened slightly. There was a young girl with long dark brown hair chasing chickens with her claws. Humans didn't have claws. Or did they?

"Now you're in trouble," she murmured with a grin as she threw herself forward at a chicken.

He watched it run away and she fell onto her stomach.

"If you chase two hares then you will catch neither," he stated with a small smile on his face.

A real smile for once.

**- - - - **

_I may be some sort of crazy  
_

_We may be some sort of crazy  
_

_But I swear on everything I have and more_

_So never look behind, there's spooky people breathing down_

_The world is ending there's a party by the bay  
_

_I'll wear my suit and tie, would I and I toss into  
_

_The way you put that smile upon my face__** (yeah)**_

_Fill up the air balloon and ride with me_

_Yeah hell is just a parade __**(parade)**__  
_

_Make love like time and space i__s ending  
_

_While befriending fade while luring way of putting us to shame  
_

**- - - - **

The girl jumped slightly with surprise as she looked back at him. Then he watched as she made a face at him. Such a childish thing to do…

"Just because you can do it," she stated with furrowed brows, "I'll show you **and** all of them some day."

"Show us what?" he asked, walking towards the girl with a slightly cocked brow.

"That I'm not just a pathetic half breed."

**This **was the half breed that the peasants were talking about? What was wrong with her? She looked perfectly fine to his golden orbs.

"I never said that you were," he stated simply, holding his hand out to her, "I see nothing wrong with you."

He watched as her blue eyes widened with surprise. Apparently he had thrown her off guard. She didn't take his hand though as she got to her feet.

"Everyone else does," she murmured quietly, "They don't like me or father very much… but mostly not me."

Placing his hand on her head, he got her to look at him.

"They didn't like me much either," he assured her, "They're just scared."

"Scared of what?" she asked with confusion.

"Of how great you actually might turn out to be."

She looked confused by his words, but at least he knew that she had heard them. After a few years, he was sure she would understand.

"How about in a few days, we meet up again?" he offered, feeling light on the inside.

He didn't know or understand why, but he really liked this little half bred child. She wanted to mean something and he had few friends.

"Like friends?" she asked with a slightly cocked brow.

"Like friends," he agreed with a nod.

How she seemed to smile at those words. Somehow, he too, managed to smile at the thought. If she wanted to mean something, then why not mean something to him? After all, he had nothing against her. He didn't think he would any time soon either.

"A few days?" she asked, still grinning.

"Yes," he nodded, "Thirteen steps in the forest towards that direction."

His finger pointed to the west; towards the palace.

"If you wait there, I will find you."

"Okay!" she agreed happily before her brows furrowed slightly.

"Something the matter?" he asked with worry in his tone.

It had only been a few moments, but he had already grown attached – protective – of the girl.

"How many is a few?" she asked with confusion.

At her words, he almost found himself laughing.

"It's three days," he told her, "I'll be seeing you then, okay?"

"Okay!" she was excited again; the grin back in place.

"All right, I have to go home now," he told her as he patted her head, "Bye friend."

"Bye!"

He left her there and he could hear crates breaking again. Then it was all followed by a triumphant:

"Ah ha!"

He shook his head at her words. She must have caught a chicken.

The villagers were still making comments on his way back through the market. They truly didn't trust demons within their village. They thought that it meant trouble for them he supposed.

"Foolish to think such things," he murmured as he passed them all.

The forest was welcoming when he got back to it. There were no snide comments or hateful words to hear. It was no wonder that demons disliked the mortals. What they had didn't seem to be good enough for them. The same went for some demons as well.

* * *

He sat in his chamber and thought to himself. His eyes were closed as the sun had set on the outside world. That world… what a strange place it was. There were twists and turns around corners that he never thought existed. A mix between both species… that really must have been rare. He understood why now. Though he could not come to see why either species could hate that innocent girl in the village.

There was a knock on his chamber door and he didn't open his eyes.

"Come in father," he said through the darkness.

The door slid open before his father came through. With his father in sight, he opened his golden eyes and was about to get to his feet to bow.

"No need to such formalities my son," his father assured him as he sat not too far away, "How was your trip outside this evening?"

"Humans are strange," he stated with slightly furrowed brows, "They truly believe that our existence is to hurt them. They fear so much…"

"Yes my son, that is the case," his father laughed slightly, "Do not hold it against them though. Many cannot defend themselves against our kind. Our strength is great compared to theirs."

He thought about his father's words. They made sense, but why fear all demons? Why not only the kind that have attacked in the past?

**- - - - **

_I'm reaching farther than I ever have before  
_

_Leaving all who broke your heart upon the shore  
_

_I may be some sort of crazy  
_

_We may be some sort of crazy  
_

_But I swear on everything I have and more_

_You make the sound of pulling heaven down_

_You brought the rain's romantic pour  
_

**- - - - **

His mind wandered back to the little half breed. Had she done something to make them all dislike her? Was there a reason for their hate?

"What else did you witness Sesshoumaru?" his father asked, seeing his thoughtful expression.

"There's a half breed in that village," he told his father with slightly furrowed brows.

"Yes, she is the only one in the area," his father nodded with a solemn expression on his face, "Do you have a distaste for her existence?"

"No," he murmured, "but you knew she was there?"

His father seemed to laugh at the question. Why was he always so light?

"I have been to speak with her father," he admitted, shaking his head slightly, "There was a war once upon a time and I needed his assistance. His mate was pregnant at the time, so you were only seven."

He could remember his father going to war. It wasn't a vivid memory, but it was still there. The war with the Panther tribe leader and his father. Two behemoth demons waging a war on the lands. His father and the western demons had come out victorious.

"She's very unique," he told his father, tone thoughtful, "Mother said that they were nothing but vermin… That because they were a mix, no one wanted them. But I see nothing wrong with her. She's as we are."

His father seemed to nod at his words.

"I'm glad that you see it that what Sesshoumaru."

"Father… can I leave the palace again in a few days?" he asked with a cocked brow; his golden orbs almost pleading.

"Naturally my son," his father agreed as he got to his feet, "Have a good rest. We shall train first thing in the morning."

"As you wish father."

The door was shut and he was left to his own thoughts as his eyes drifted shut. He had spent a lot of time alone in the past. The friends he had… they had been set up by his parents. Now that both he and them were grown, those 'friends' kept their distance from him. They were as fearful as the servants in the palace. He saw that they always had been.

The half breed that he had met in the village – his friend – had surprised him. He never expected for someone to not be afraid of him. She had not been afraid to make expressions to his words… towards **him**. She had made him feel light on the inside; like he belonged somewhere. Sure, he was to be a lord and rule after his father, but he also wanted his own path. To be as powerful as his father was his dream. He wanted to be able to defeat him some day in hopes of that. That girl in the village… would she accept that as well? Would she accept that he wanted to be a powerful demon lord like his father? Or would she run away from that?

**- - - - **

_You make the sound  
_

_You make the sound  
_

_Of pulling heaven down_

_I'm reaching farther than I ever have before_

_**(god I've reached the top)  
**_

_Leaving all who broke your heart upon the shore  
_

_I may be some sort of crazy  
_

_We may be some sort of crazy  
_

_But I swear on everything I have and more  
_

_**(go go go go)  
**_

**- - - - **

His brows furrowed slightly at the thought. He didn't want the friend that he had made on his own to be afraid of him as well.

With those thoughts, he started to drift off into a light sleep. He sometimes wished that it could be a deeper sleep, but his hearing could catch any sounds that didn't belong throughout the palace. His training with his father would be vigorous in the morning. He needed all the rest he could get.

* * *

When morning came, he was awake soon after the sun had started to rise to the sky. It was appearing at the eastern horizon and shone through his chamber window. He looked out the window and saw the orange and pink hues light the morning sky.

"Each morning varies," he murmured to himself.

On days such as these, he believed that they were to be good days. Cloudy days were alright, and on days of rain, he found that he could only watch from within the study. He hoped that some day he would be able to do as he wished in that rain. It was rather displeasuring to him to be told what to do.

A knock on his chamber door brought him out of his thought.

"Master Sesshoumaru, the lord waits in the gardens," a female's voice called from the other side of the door, "He says to come once you are ready."

His gaze didn't falter as he gave no reply. Once he was changed from his bed robes to his white and blue hoari, he would be ready to train.

His father had trained him to live with just his claws. He had been told that he could not always count on having a sword at his side to use. He had been taught to unleash abilities that were born into his being. Such as his acid like whip and poison claws. They were a powerful defense against many things.

His feet walked silently against the wood of the floor as he made his way through the palace hallways to the garden. His father would not be kept waiting. When he opened the northern door to the palace, he came out in the gardens. His father was walking around the flowerbeds; looking at all the flowers. The kinds varied in the neat gardens. Stopping at the opposite side of the grass as his father, he bowed slightly.

"Have you been waiting long father?" he asked with an emotionless tone.

"Not at all my son," his father stated before turning towards him, "Are you prepared?"

He cracked his claws at the question, "As always father."

That was all his father needed to come at him. There was no hesitation like there ever had been. He refused to take mercy; not even from his own father. If there was mercy, then he would never be able to defeat a powerful being like his father.

**- - - - **

_I'm reaching farther than I ever have before  
_

_**(god i've reached the top)  
**_

_Leaving all who broke your heart upon the shore  
_

_I may be some sort of crazy  
_

_We may be some sort of crazy  
_

_But I swear on everything I have and more  
_

_**(go go go go)**_

**- - - - **

He dodged a vertical strike of his father's claws and took a swipe with his own. His claws were blocked by being grabbed and he was thrown back. He flipped in the air to land on his feet and his two fingers on his right hand began to glow green. Swinging his arm to the side, the whip went straight for his father. It was grabbed and he was pulled forward. Claws grazed his cheek and his father went to flip him onto his back.

He jumped backward to avoid his father's claws before attacking with his own. They grazed his father's arm and a horizontal swipe hit the armor around his father's torso. An attack came at him and as he tried to dodge, claws scraped his own arms. He didn't wince when he was then flipped over onto his back.

He may have been quick, but his father was faster.

**End of Chapter 1**

So everyone, how was it? Did you like it? I liked it. For a start anyway. I know that I reused that one scene but I'm not gunna lie, I'm going to tie the flashback scenes from _**Silver Sliver**_ into this one. So that way it all makes sense and it all works. :3 Well at least I hope it does. o.O Lol. Anyway, I don't know how long this one will be, probably a little longer than the last one.

The song was _**Sound of Pulling Heaven Down**_ by_** Blue October**_. I hope that it fit in there okay. I'm not too sure. I hope that you all enjoyed the first chapter, I'll be sure to start working on the second one soon. :3 Please R&R and I'll update as soon as I get the chance to. :D :3 :F


	2. Always

Hey everyone! I know it hasn't really been a while since I last updated this one but I finally got this chapter done and I thought that it was high time that I got it posted even though I just updates something three days ago… Anyway, thank you all to those who have read and reviewed this so far. It makes me happy to know that you enjoy it. :3 Enjoy!

**- - - - **means lyrics

**Always**

He returned to his chamber and removed his hoari. He had cuts across his cheeks and arms. Only a few deeper ones had been bleeding. Training with his father was difficult, but it was what he needed. Cuts or gashes would heal in a short time anyway; for him at least.

He proceeded to his chamber to wait for a servant to prepare a bath for him. He couldn't walk around with blood on his face. He didn't wish to look more terrifying to the already frightened servants.

"Master Sesshoumaru, would you wish for me to run your bath water?" a woman not too much older than him asked with a bow.

"Please do," he stated with a nod.

"As you wish young master."

His golden orbs watched as she ran off to prepare his bath. He didn't enjoy depending on other people, but he preferred to wait in his chamber for his bath rather than in the bathing room. It was just about the only thing he used the servants for.

**- - - - **

_**(When this began)**_

_I had nothing to say_

_And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me_

_**(I was confused)**_

_And I let it all out to find_

_That I'm not the only person with these things in mind_

**- - - - **

As he waited, his golden orbs fell onto the window and the blue sky beyond it. He found himself wondering what his little half bred friend was doing. Why had she been chasing chickens the day previous? Was she stealing them? Was it all in good fun? Was it their only food? The questions wouldn't leave his mind. That little girl… she was** new**. She was something to touch and to get to know. Why would anyone push such an opportunity away?

His thoughts were interrupted by the female's voice at his doorway.

"Your bath water is ready master Sesshoumaru," she said pleasantly.

She sounded pleased; almost like she had accomplished something.

"You may attend to your other duties now," he told her rather emotionlessly.

"Yes master Sesshoumaru," she replied before leaving down the hallway.

He rose to his feet and left his chamber. He didn't need an escort like his mother and father had. They were more like guards than escorts. If he got attacked then he would deal with it on his own. He could protect himself.

The bathing room door was the first thing he noticed after leaving his chamber. He hadn't slept very well during the night and training had been vigorous. He even had his father sweating. He was worn out to tiredness. Sleep was what was needed and he could not get it.

The water was warm and soothing as he walked into it. This was traditional after training. He sat back against the side of the wooden tub and closed his golden orbs. His body relaxed and welcomed the silence. Maybe he could catch a good rest after all.

* * *

The third day seemed to come all too slowly for him. He had been anticipating on seeing the half bred little girl again. He almost hoped that she hadn't forgotten. Children had a tendency to do that.

He walked down the hallway to see his mother. She needed to be informed on his location incase she ever needed him. With all the servants and his father around, he doubted that she would ever need him.

"Good morning mother," he greeted as he knocked on her door.

She hardly left her room. Moving around for her wore her out. Her illness seemed to take much of the strength that she used to have.

"Come in Sesshoumaru," she called, her voice polite and pleasant.

He opened the door and his golden orbs fell onto her favorite pink silk kimono.

"You look glorious as always, mother," he said with a bow towards her.

"You look quite handsome yourself, my son," she said with a smile on her face, "It seemed like not too long ago you were just becoming a boy."

"Thank you, mother."

His mother's light brown eyes looked at him, the smile on her face only on her lips.

"Are you leaving again?" she asked with curiosity.

She had no reason to ask. It was only natural that she knew.

"Yes, I have plans to tour the area a little," he told her, his golden orbs locked with hers.

He was sure not to mention his half bred friend. His mother would never have allowed it.

"Then please have fun, my son," she said, smiling pleasantly at him.

"I will return later in the day," he assured her, bowing again before turning to leave.

**- - - - **

_**(Inside of me)**_

_But all the vacancy the words revealed_

_Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel_

_**(Nothing to lose)**_

_Just stuck/ hollow and alone_

_And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own_

**- - - - **

He was out the door and on his way down the hall when he was greeted by his father.

"Are you leaving, my son?" his father asked with a cocked brow.

"Yes father," he nodded, "Mother is in a cold mood today. She may throw a few words at you."

His father chuckled before patting his shoulder.

"Have fun Sesshoumaru."

He nodded before continuing on his way. He had full intentions on having an enjoyable day.

The guards didn't hesitate upon letting him go through the gates this time. He had grown rather impatient this morning. Even through his impatience, he couldn't help the smile that came to his face when he saw her. The little half breed was sitting on a log, kicking her feet as she looked around. Such a curious child.

"Have you been waiting long?" he asked with a slightly cocked brow; walking up to her.

She grinned when she looked back to see him standing there.

"Yay!" she said happily as she jumped to her feet.

"Are you ready Nina?" he asked, smiling pleasantly at her.

His father had told him her name the day before. He had heard a few stories about the war that occurred when he was a child.

Nina's brows seemed to furrow slightly for a moment.

"Question?" he asked, cocking his own brow.

"What's your name?" she asked with confusion.

"Sesshoumaru," he told her.

"Sesshoumaru!" she beamed; still grinning, "Yes."

"Good," he nodded, holding a hand out to her.

She seemed to take it eagerly; her grin was still wide on her face. He was planning on taking her on a tour around the forest. It would be new to both of them he assumed. He had never seen it… not the whole thing.

He lad the way, pulling Nina behind him. It was silent between them and he was rather surprised. She was a child – only seven – and she didn't seem to feel the need to constantly hold up a constant conversation. She was very unique in his golden orbs. Maybe he was the only one who thought of her that way.

His thoughts were cut off as a rat demon came out of the trees with blood red eyes. He couldn't stop his instinctive movement to stand in front of her. His hand held hers tightly as he glared coldly at the large rodent.

"Don't move," he ordered her quietly.

"**Small children,"** the rat hissed, its claws digging into the soft soil on the ground.

"One of us is not so small," he stated coldly, releasing Nina's smaller hand.

When his sentence was over, his golden orbs caught sight of his little half bred friend lunging at the large rat demon.

"Nina!" he called after her; worry hitting him.

His golden orbs watched as she dug her claws into the rodent's ribs. Then her fangs dug deeply into the fur on its back. He couldn't believe the growl that escaped the small girl's throat as the rat demon beat its back off a tree trunk. He wanted to kill it before it killed her. His feet wouldn't move.

"Nina, let go," he demanded with furrowed brows.

He couldn't help her with her still clinging to the rat's back.

Nina's claws seemed to tighten when he told her to let the rat go. Her claws dug deeper; reaching for something. Then she started to pull and he heard two loud snapping sounds. The rat demon slammed its back against the tree again, causing her to fall off. In her hands were two broken off ribs.

**- - - - **

_I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real_

_I wanna let go of the pain I've held so long_

_**(Erase all the pain till it's gone)**_

_I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real_

_I wanna find something I've wanted all along_

_Somewhere I belong_

**- - - - **

The scent of blood was in the air at the wounds in the large rodent. It was lying motionless on the ground, and his gold orbs landed on the half breed's claws. They were covered in blood. He watched as she threw the ribs aside and wiped the blood from her mouth.

"Are you out of your mind?" he asked with a stern expression as he went over to her.

"A-apparently," she coughed before wincing.

Her back must have been in pain. His eyes became concerned with that thought.

"Remind me to not let go of you next time," he stated, patting her head with a small smile on his face.

"Yeah," she laughed rather nervously, "Bad idea."

He sat down beside her and chuckled slightly. She realized it **after** she had attacked and won. He had realized then… that maybe she was more grown up than she seemed to be. Or more childish. Either one was possible.

They sat together with some silence when her nervous laughs ceased. He couldn't help but silently wonder where she had learned to protect herself like she had. Had her father taught her? Did she need to learn incase she was attacked? Or… had the instincts been thrust upon her? Had someone or something attacked her one day?

"You okay?" her voice broke him out of thought.

He cocked a brow at her words. Shouldn't he be asking **her** that?

"You're just staring and your eyebrows make you look angry," she stated, making a face to imitate his.

The corners of his mouth seemed to twitch upward. She made that light feeling come back again… He **wanted **to smile.

Nina's blue eyes lit up with laughter. Even she couldn't help but be amused with herself.

"I'm fine," he assured her, "Just wondering where that all came from…"

"Oh," she laughed quietly; her gaze staring forward, "Remember how people don't like me very much?"

He nodded his head.

"One time a while ago, a man from the village got mad because I tripped and landed on some of his herbs. Father wasn't home, so he pulled out a metal stick thing… I didn't know what to do.

"I got beat up a bit before something happened. I knew what to do… and I did it," she explained, her blue eyes becoming rather solemn.

She didn't need to finish the story for him to know the ending. She ended up killing the man on the instinct for survival.

His brows furrowed slightly with sympathy. She was only a child… that must have been a burden.

"They didn't like me much then… Now they definitely hate me," she murmured, pulling her knees to her chest.

He couldn't help but notice the slight wince at the action.

"I told you before, Nina," he started, his golden orbs on her, "They're just scared."

"Of a monster," she whispered.

At those words, his eyes widened slightly. She was a small child with small claws and fangs. There was no monster behind those light blue eyes.

He wanted to make that go away. She was no monster.

"Nina," he started, "There are full demons in this world far more frightening and monstrous than you."

He wanted her to believe him… for her to understand. Friends cared didn't they? They belonged together in a way…

"Do they kill people?" she asked, eyes narrowing slightly.

"More than people," he told her, "Entire villages, animals, other demons."

She looked up at him with slightly wide eyes.

"Demons kill each other?" she asked with confusion.

He nodded his head, "Humans kill each other as well."

She was almost bewildered with the idea of that. He had been as well when his father told him about the human wars happening. It was such a foolish thing to him.

Nina moves after a few moments; getting to her feet. She stretched and he heard her back crack slightly.

"Come on," she said grinning, "I know this one place and it's so pretty."

With those words, he assumed that she believed his words. She was excited to be with him… to do things with him.

**- - - - **

_And I've got nothing to say_

_I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face_

_**(I was confused)**_

_Looking everywhere only to find_

_That it's not the way I had imagined it all in my mind_

_**(So what am I)**_

_What do I have but negativity_

'_Cause I can't justify the way, everyone is looking at me_

_**(Nothing to lose)**_

_Nothing to gain/ hollow and alone_

_And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own_

**- - - - **

He finally made an actual friend; found somewhere he belonged. If he accepted what she had done, then maybe she would accept his dream of being a supreme demon lord like his father.

* * *

He sat in the bathing room; resting up in the warm water. There were cuts across his cheeks, arms, and sides. His father had pushed him today and when that happened, he wondered if that was how his father got his aggravation out. Physical exercise was a good emotional medium.

"Mother must be even more cold than usual," he murmured, closing his eyes as he leaned back.

He didn't have much time to rest. He had a friend that would soon be waiting for him.

It had been three days since the rat demon incident. He assumed that his father was catching on to where he was going now. He knew is mother did not know… and he hoped that she wouldn't any time soon. She was strict on his behavior; which mean that she would not wish for him to be playing with something as 'filthy' as a peasant half breed. She would try to forbid it if she knew.

He sighed as he opened his eyes to the semi dark bathing room. He couldn't see the problem with what she was.

"Time to get out," he whispered to himself before stretching slightly.

One day he would not need to bathe after training. One day he would be a powerful demon; one upon which that could slay demons with ease. He would be able to protect her then. She wouldn't need to get hurt anymore.

As he got out of the warm water, his silver hair stuck to his back. The water dripped from him as he dried himself off. Then he was dressed before being in the hallway. He decided that he would no longer ask his father for permission to leave. His mother need not get suspicious either. He would leave as he so chose. Decisions were his to make, no one else's.

No servants looked at him as he passed, though he could feel their eyes on his back. They were curious. Why would the lord's son need to leave the palace grounds?

The gates were opened when he made it outside. The guard not asking questions anymore. His legs broke out into a run as he made it to the forest border. He may have only known his half bred friend for seven days, but she seemed to understand many things. She knew killing without a reason was wrong. She knew what bothered people. Though… he had never heard her ask for anything. He couldn't help but wonder why.

A slight humming caught his ears and he felt himself slow to listen. It was a calm tune, and he smiled slightly at the sound. Nina was humming a non-existent song in her head. He walked up behind her silently as she sat on a dead log. His hands covered her eyes and he couldn't force away the smile on his face. He didn't understand how she made him this way.

"Guess who," he told her, smirking slightly.

She crossed her arms as she actually thought about it.

"Um… father?" she asked with confusion.

Did he play this with her too?

"No, guess again," he chuckled slightly.

"Sesshoumaru!" she said happily; he could hear the grin on her face.

His hands dropped from her eyes as he let her see for herself.

She was smiling happily before she had her arms wrapped around the top of his legs. At the action, he couldn't hide his surprise. Was she hugging him? Should he hug her back?

"I knew you'd get it," he mused, still smiling slightly.

She made him feel so light on the inside. Nina made him feel like nothing could possibly go wrong, even though they did.

"Do you know it's going to rain?" she asked him, letting go of his legs and looking up at him.

He shook his head with a slightly cocked brow.

"Yeah," she grinned, "Mother gets sore in her head when it's going to rain. I think it's really funny except it gets really bad some times."

He patted her little head with a small smile. So like her to care about her mother that way.

"How about we go look for a cave to look around in?" he asked, "That way we can stay dry and you won't get sick."

"Maybe there will be treasure!" she exclaimed; excited at the idea, "I know one close by."

"Lead the way."

**- - - - **

_I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real_

_I wanna let go of the pain I've held so long_

_**(Erase all the pain till it's gone)**_

_I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real_

_I wanna find something I've wanted all along_

_Somewhere I belong_

_I will never know myself until I do this on my own_

_And I will never feel anything else, until my wounds are healed_

_I will never be anything till I break away from me_

_I will break away, I'll find myself today_

**- - - - **

She ran on ahead and he followed silently. He guessed that she had time to wander around the forest to do nothing. She knew more about the piece of land than he did.

They arrived shortly after and she held her arms up proudly.

"Tada," she beamed, grinning at being able to find it.

From what his golden orbs could see, it was a rather deep cave. He had pictured it to be something more like a den of a demon or anime. This… this was actually a cave that went somewhere.

"You found this on your own?" he asked with a cocked brow.

"No," she laughed slightly, blue eyes bright, "Father showed it to me. He said a demon made it a long time ago to go from one place to another without being caught."

His golden orbs watched her curiously. A demon made this cave?

"I've never been in it though," she admitted, scratching the back of her head, "Always kind of scared to go on my own."

"Why not ask your father?" he questioned.

His father would go with him, so why not her?

"Father's not around much. He leaves for a few days," she explained, still smiling slightly.

Before he could ask anything else, she jumped into the cave with a grin. She started looking around the entrance.

"Are you coming?" she asked with a cocked brow.

He followed in after her silently. He wondered why she would end the conversation like that. Did it hurt to think about her father? Did he abandon them? Or was she just too curious for her own good? He hoped that it was the latter.

His golden orbs scanned the cave. There wasn't anything else in here except them. He couldn't hear any noise from further within the cave either. The rain picked up as they went deeper into the dark, musty smelling tunnel.

"Do you think there's any treasures?" Nina asked him, blue eyes curious and delighted.

She really was just a child.

"It's possible," he told her; not wanting to crush any dreams.

It was always fun to imagine such things. It was even better when those things turned out to be real.

There was a _thud _from beside him and he was surprised to see his friend lying on the ground.

"Nina?" he questioned.

"I tripped," she told him, pushing herself to her feet.

Even in the dark cave, he could see the dirt on her face and light green kimono. It was a simple village hand-me-down kimono. It was nothing like the ones his mother donned – all made of silks. There were even tatters to prove its age.

"Sorry," she laughed before pointing ahead, "Onward!"

He shook his head at her before they continued.

Silence had fallen over them for a while before Nina's light blue eyes started to glance up at him and then look away. She continued to do it and make small faces as if she had something on her mind.

"You can ask anything you wish Nina," he assured her; golden orbs locking with blue ones.

"Um… I was wondering if… if you had any dreams for your future," she murmured quietly, her eyes looking away.

He laughed slightly at her question. It was exactly the thing that he was looking to say… to see if she would accept it.

"I wish to be a powerful demon lord like my father," he told her, looking forward as well, "To be able to defeat him one day."

**- - - -**

_I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real_

_I wanna let go of the pain I've held so long_

_**(Erase all the pain till it's gone)**_

_I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real_

_I wanna find something I've wanted all along_

_Somewhere I belong_

**- - - - **

Nina looked up at him with slightly wide eyes. It must have sounded strange to her… to defeat one's father.

"Is that where you got all those cuts from?" she asked with a slightly cocked brow.

So she had seen them at their small size. He was a fast healer like any other demon. Minor cuts were gone within hours.

"Yes," he nodded his head, "training with my father."

She seemed to smile then. Why he did not know.

"I bet you can do it Sesshoumaru," she grinned, "I bet you can do anything you put your mind to."

**- - - - **

_I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm somewhere I belong_

_I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm somewhere I belong_

_Somewhere I belong_

**- - - - **

He couldn't help the small smile that found its way to his face. He was… **grateful**. She had accepted his dream, just like he had accepted her actions. He was glad that he was finding a place that he belonged.

**End of Chapter 2**

So… how was it? Was it alright? Did the song fit at all? I hope it did. I wasn't sure if the song fit so I'm kind of iffy. I'm running out of songs to choose from so it makes me have to think about it a bit more than I had to in _**Silver Sliver**_. Lol. Oh well, what can you do right?

The song was _**Somewhere I Belong **_by_** Linkin Park**_. I hope it fits… -- runs from angry fans – Anyway, thank you so much for reading, I hope this chapter has fit all your standards. Please R&R and I hope that you all come back for the next chapter. :3 If there's any spelling mistakes… my bad.


	3. Ill

Hey everyone! I know it's been a little while since I last updated. I've been trying to catch up on a bunch of everything. My bad. Lol. Well thank you all to those who have read and reviewed this far. It makes me really happy to know that you all like this fanfic. :3 Please enjoy!

- - - - means lyrics

**Ill**

He opened his eyes to the half morning light. Something didn't feel right… something felt completely strange about this day. He had a feeling that it didn't have to do with him directly, but someone he knew… something that was his.

Sitting up almost immediately and tossing his blankets to the side, his golden orbs looked around the room. The feeling was just wrong in the pit of his stomach. There was rain pouring outside his closed window and his eyes narrowed slightly at the omen. Rain first thing was taken as a bad sign.

He was on his feet in a few moments and changing from his sleeping robes to his daily white hoari. He didn't care if it was raining, and he was sure that she didn't either. Today he would meet his half bred friend in the forest. It had been four days since the cave and they hadn't found anything to be called treasure. Not yet anyway. There were many tunnels to wander through. They could find something; it was always a possibility.

The hallways were silent as he walked quickly through them. No one would be up, so he had the chance to see what this wrong feeling was. He just hoped that this wrong feeling had nothing to do with his young friend.

His stomach clenched at just the idea and the feeling thickened with concern. Bad for him now… now it would have to involve his friend in some way. She was the only thing he really seemed to care about anymore. Nothing else mattered.

The gate was pushed open and he let it silently close behind him. The guard wouldn't be present this early. His feet took off rather quickly as he ran through the forest. There was no time to waste. He could not take the chance of waiting for her. Something could be wrong with her and he could be the only one to help her at all.

His feet instinctively took him to the peasant village; his mind wandering to his friend's safety. He needed her to be alright… He didn't know what he would do if she wasn't.

The rain soaked his silver hair and hoari as he came to the village. He paused, panting slightly with his urgency.

"Nina…" he whispered as the feeling of anxiety grew worse.

What if she… what if she was dead? Anything could have happened within that four day span. She could have been attacked… She could have gotten seriously injured… But what would he do if she really was dead… if she was no longer in existence?

"I'd probably… go with her…" he murmured with a pained look on his face.

He couldn't bear the idea of that. He needed to know that she was alright.

Movement came to his senses as he started to run again. He did not know where the young girl lived, but he would use his nose if he had to. In his hurry, he found the hut quickly. His feet stopped moving and he opened the screen without thinking to knock.

There she was, lying on her back with a cloth on her forehead. Sweat was beaded on her face. His brows furrowed at the sight of her really pale face. The room was empty all besides her. Why was she by herself? Where was her mother?

- - - -

_Playground school bell rings again_

_Rain clouds come to play again_

_Has no one told you she's not breathing?_

_Hello I'm your mind giving you someone to talk to_

_Hello_

- - - -

The sight of her alone… it made his hands clench slightly. She was ill and no one was there to take care of her… to help her get past it.

"Nina," he whispered, concern being on his face.

He entered and he immediately went to her side. What would he be able to do for her? What **could** he do for her? She was ill… the battle was inside her body. He couldn't do anything for that. He wasn't a priest.

Nina coughed rather hoarsely and his golden orbs watched as she rolled onto her side. Her blue eyes opened slightly when the wet cloth fell off her forehead. She blinked a few times before looking up at him with some confusion.

"W-who are you?" she asked; voice quiet and almost… weak.

He didn't understand the question. She knew who he was.

"It's me, Sesshoumaru. Remember?" he asked with a slightly cocked brow.

Was the fever making her delusional? Was it really that bad?

"S-Sesshoumaru?" she murmured; even more confused.

"I see," he whispered to himself.

His expression was almost solemn at the idea of her forgetting him but he knew it was just the fever. She couldn't help it.

"Go back to sleep Nina," he told her, "Get your rest and get better."

She seemed to smile slightly before her eyes closed.

"If your mother won't take care of you… then I will," he whispered to himself.

It had only taken a few moments before Nina was asleep again. He caught himself rubbing her head slightly with his hand; his thumb gently stroking the top of her forehead. He made himself stop; forcing himself to stop thinking about his half bred friend beyond getting better.

His rows furrowed. Why did he have to stop doing it? He didn't want to… so why did he have to?

"Because it's wrong," he told himself coldly.

They weren't thoughts about what he would do if she couldn't get better. He knew what he would do…

They were thoughts about the future; not about the next day or the next… but after she recovered… after she wasn't a child anymore. Wasn't it wrong of him to think of her that way? …Especially at her age of seven?

His hand withdrew from her and his orbs caught her wince before her hand grabbed his. The small girl was still sleeping.

"Please don't go mother," she whispered, "I don't want to be alone."

He was caught off guard at how tightly she was holding onto his fingers. Then his expression softened slightly as he grasped her small hand.

"Don't worry," he assured her, "I'm not going anywhere."

* * *

He sat outside the back of the hut in the pouring rain. He had had to leave her by herself for a few minutes. She wouldn't be alone for long; her mother was returning from wherever the woman had gone to.

A small fire was lit inside the small hut. He had started it to make sure that Nina was warm enough. It was just about the only thing he could do for her. He had never been sick before.

"Nina, did you start that fire?" her mother's quiet voice asked as she opened the screen door.

There was no answer. The small girl was still asleep. She had been asleep since he told her to rest and that had been a few hours ago.

"Don't wake her up," he whispered to himself.

The small girl needed rest. That way her body could still fight the battle without any extra strain.

"You shouldn't push yourself like that," her mother told her before his ears heard a handle being touched against metal.

Was she cooking something? Was she boiling water?

He sighed slightly as he leaned his head back against the wooden hut. His stomach was still clenched slightly. He didn't enjoy not being able to do something… to be useless. He was his father's son and he had never been useless except when he was a small child. He had always been willing to learn, took charge when no one else would, and he always pulled his own weight… never a burden.

The feeling in his stomach made him feel like he was a burden when he knew he was not. His brows furrowed with the mere idea of that.

"Please get better Nina," he whispered, "Don't let me be here on me own."

With the idea of being useless in his head… he started to ponder what he could actually do. If there was a priestess of priest around… he could ask them to help…

"They wouldn't do it willingly," he muttered with slightly narrowed eyes.

He could threaten them… beat them over the head or endanger their lives. He would do it if it involved his half bred friend. He would die for her so she could live.

His claws gripped his pants slightly; annoyed with the idea of those mortals being unwilling to help.

"What do you want?" he asked, golden orbs looking forward coldly.

A man stepped out from behind a thick tree. He was only in human form. There was no doubt that he was a demon.

"I could ask the same thing of you, young master," the demon's deep voice replied rather suspiciously.

What would the lord's son possibly want in a place like this?

"That business is my own," he stated emotionlessly, "If you are involved with that business then you will be told."

"I am the father of the one who is sick in that hut," the demon stated rather coldly, "What is in there is my business."

"You are Nina's father?" he asked, brows furrowing slightly.

This demon was her father… the one who left her completely defenseless to the villagers of this peasant village. The one to blame for her being able to defend herself… that the option had been forced upon her in the first place.

"I can sense your anger young master," the demon stated, ice blue eyes staring coldly at him, "though I do not understand why. Does she matter to you as she does to us?"

He did not feel obliged to answer. He had a feeling that the demon did not enjoy people – other demons – getting close to his child. At the same time… there was a feeling that told him that her father didn't care.

"I am not a friend," he told the demon, "I have no desire to harm her."

"A friend?" the demon questioned, "She has not spoken of you."

The demon's tone was still suspicious. Why would a full blooded demon bother to befriend a half breed? Of course it was suspicious.

"Maybe you are the reason she hasn't," he suggested, "That you would not approve of her interacting with others."

His father may have approved of this demon, but he did not. There was a look in the demon's expression that bothered him. It was not the cold eyes or the expression itself… but how his friend was looked upon by her own father… like she was nothing but a simple object; a possession.

"What is it that you are implying young master?" the demon questioned.

"That you yourself do not love your own daughter," he stated, staring coldly back with his golden orbs, "That you dislike her for what she is. That a half breed has been given life because of you."

"What would a child like you know about giving life? …About giving life to such a being?"

"You prove me right then," he replied coldly, "You despise that Nina is a half breed… a hanyou."

The demon muttered and growled in response.

"I love my wife and my daughter," the demon told him, "My daughter is just what I hate most."

His golden eyes watched the demon as they walked around towards the screen door. How could one hate their daughter? …Their own flesh and blood? Parents should love and dote over their children when they are small. Not hate them because they were different.

"Oh Mitsuru, you're home," the mother said happily from inside.

"Yes," the demon replied, "What has Nina come down with?"

"I don't know," she admitted quietly, "The priest wouldn't come to see if she was alright…"

"Of course he couldn't." her father muttered, "None of them would do anything for her."

He narrowed his eyes slightly at the demon's words. Was he just putting on an act? If so... then for whom? Him… or Nina's mother?

"Probably her mother," he whispered to himself.

From her voice, Nina's mother sounded young… like she would be a year or so older then him. Though he kind of doubted it since Nina was seven and that would have made her mother ten when she had been born.

"She's probably in her early twenties," he told himself quietly.

The rain continued to pour around the village and western plains. He had no intention of returning home though… at least not tonight. Even if her parents were home, Nina might have needed him somehow. He just needed her to be alright.

"It's not a matter of her needing you," he told himself quietly, "Just a matter of how much you need **her**."

* * *

When morning came the next day, it was still raining slowly. It was just a mere drizzle; not as bad as the day previous. His golden orbs opened when he had caught movement from inside of the hut. His sensitive ears heard two rather small feet walking slowly towards the doorway. What was that child doing in her state?

Small feet touched the soft dirt next before making small splashes that came his way. His head was turned to her direction when she came around the corner. His small friend didn't seem to see him as she went to the trees slightly. His golden eyes adverted their gaze when he figured out what she was doing. A slight blush was present for his embarrassment. Of course she would have to go to the bathroom.

There were only a few minutes of nothing but rain before there was a small squeaking sound. He cocked a brow and looked at his friend with concern. Her blue eyes were surprised and were set right on him.

"Nina-"

"What are you doing here?" she asked; recovering from her surprise.

"Staying to make sure you're alright," he told her, brows furrowed slightly.

Her tone sounded almost angry or upset.

"Mother and father don't like other people here," she told him with her own slightly furrowed brows.

No… she wasn't angry. She was still confused. She didn't remember who he was because she was still under her illness.

His expression dropped slightly with that thought. They were friends and she couldn't remember who he was or what they did together. It stung slightly, even if it wasn't her fault for forgetting.

"My apologies," he nearly muttered as he got to his feet, "I thought my friend would have liked for me to make sure she was alright. Looks like I was wrong."

"Friend?" she asked with confusion.

He walked past her and towards the trees.

"Don't bother," he told her, "You'll forget by tomorrow anyway."

His feet took off to an immediate run and his brows furrowed. She spoke to him like he didn't matter… like they meant nothing to each other. There was a slight clench in his stomach at the thought. She was his only friend just as he was hers. He cared more about her than so many things. It was as if she was the only thing… his future lied with her.

- - - -

_If I smile and don't believe_

_Soon I know I'll wake from this dream_

_Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken_

_Hello I am the lie living for you so you can hide_

_Don't cry_

- - - -

Thoughts were disrupted when there was another set of footsteps close by; a guard's footsteps.

"Mother must have sent them to search for me," he whispered to himself as his feet ran towards the castle.

He secretly hoped that the guard hadn't seen anything at the village. His mother would throw a fit if she had known.

He made it back to the castle gates before the guard and entered thought the opened doors.

"Welcome back master Sesshoumaru," a maid greeted with a smile on her face, "Would you like for me to alert the lord and lady of your return?"

"No," he stated simply, "Let them worry a little longer."

His voice was cold since his mind was elsewhere. He was interested in what his mother would say to him if she found out. He wanted Nina to be alright above anything else with the hope that she hadn't forgotten him forever. Fate would be cruel to deal such a blow to him now after raising his hopes of understanding… of a good future.

In his slight frustration, he prepared his own bath. He did not have the patience to deal with other people, least of all the servants. Once the water was warm, he walked in and sat down with his back against the wooden tub.

"Nina…" he whispered as he closed his eyes.

It was like she was trapped in a delusional dream where she knew no one but who she saw every day. What id she never woke up from that dream? If he was forgotten by her forever then he would be journeying as he had always planned… he would rule and journey alone. There would be no dark brown haired girl with blue eyes with him. No one would accept his dream then… no one other than the one who ad already accepted it.

* * *

He knocked on his mother's chamber door. He had been called for from the study by his mother.

"The guard must have told her," he concluded quietly before waiting for her call.

"Yes?" her pleasant voice rang from the other side.

Her pleasantness was as fake as it had always been.

"Did you call for me mother?" he asked emotionlessly.

It was the day after he had returned and the rain continued so he had been put into the study. There he had to read books and practice his writing which he believed he would never use. He had been in the middle of an interesting history text when he had been called for. His patience was on the edges this morning.

"Please come in Sesshoumaru," she called, "We must discuss something."

His eyes became cold with her words. Who he chose to spend his time with was none of her concern. She would not live to see him rule.

The door slid open and he closed it before his eyes locked with his mother's. Her eyes were cold as they stared into his.

"Sesshoumaru," she started, "Is it true that you went back to that peasant village?"

"It is as you have been told mother?" he replied emotionlessly.

"What are your reasons for returning?" she asked; her tone even.

"A friend."

"Is it that pathetic half breed that lives there?" his mother asked, a perfect brow cocked.

He had to applaud his mother. She was all about appearance even when she was truly upset. That seemed to be when she was the most cold.

"She is but a friend mother. I assure you of that," he told her with slightly furrowed brows, "Did the guard not tell you that she did not want me there anymore?"

Inside he was smirking. If that was the only time they had been seen together… then he could use it to his advantage. She didn't want him there at the moment.

His mother's eyes had turned rather curious as a fake apologetic smile graced her lips.

"Yes, he had told me that that was the case," his mother told him, "I'm sorry my son but I believe that that is best for you."

She was buying it… taking the bait.

"We were friends, mother. We did things together, that was all," he assured her.

He was fake defending; as fake as her expressions. He would go to see his half bred friend anyway. If she truly didn't remember him once her illness was gone… then he would befriend her again. He needed her in his life now, as a friend. The ideas of a future past friendship were pushed to the back of his mind temporarily. It would come out again in the future, he knew it would.

"I'm sorry my son, but it's a decision best for your future. I do not want you to make any mistakes," she explained; her tone fake apologetic.

"…As you wish mother."

He turned and left her chamber with a slight smirk on his face. He was old enough to make his decisions without guidance. He was able to lead his own life on the path he had already chosen. Neither his mother not father could stray him from the path that was hidden from them.

The ill half breed would be his friend until something would completely tear them apart from one another. He swore that to himself.

* * *

Two more days passed until the rain had finally dissipated from the western plains. He took the chance and left the castle. The feeling in the pit of his stomach had disappeared the day before; gone with the rain.

The feeling gone… he left the castle and ran through the forest to the village. The hut was empty on the sunny morning. His golden orbs widened at the empty hut. Where was she? What happened? Did she… die?

His feet took off again; running towards the smell of the dead. The small cemetery was undisturbed. There were no fresh graves or dead bodies… just older graves.

"Then where?" he questioned, golden orbs searching across the cemetery.

Off again.

- - - -

_Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping_

_Hello I'm still here_

_All that's left of yesterday_

- - - -

His feet led him to the forest – to the log – in search of her. His nose caught a familiar scent and he stopped in his tracks. He knew that scent… lived off of it. His quiet footsteps were barely heard through the dead leaves. A small smile found its way to his face when he had found the old log. There she was, sleeping peacefully on the log.

The colour was back to her face, and her body temperature seemed to be normal.

"…Sesshoumaru…" she murmured in her sleep.

His smile became softer with her murmuring. She was dreaming about him.

"So you do remember," he whispered, sitting down against the log.

Somehow she seemed closer to him than ever with those words. His half bred friend had just gotten well and had sat outside over night. He knew then that she remembered him… that they would be there for each other for some time to come.

**End of Chapter 3**

So how was it? Was it alright? Did the song fit even though there weren't that many lyrics? I hope it did. o.O The song was _**Hello **_by_** Evanescence.**_ It's not that short when you listen to it, but I guess there aren't that many words. xD Anyway, I hope that you all enjoyed this chapter, I have more planned out already with songs to go with them. :3 Thank you for reading. Please R&R and I'll try to update as soon as I can. If there are any spelling errors… my bad. :F


	4. A Promise

Hello everyone! I know that I haven't been updating in a while really and I feel really bad for it because it means that I'm not doing my job right. Damn it all! RAWR!

Thank you all to those who have read and reviewed so far. It makes me really happy that people are nice enough to wait around for me to update. Thank you! I appreciate it. :3

Please enjoy!

**A Promise**

His mother might have disapproved of his friendship with his small half bred friend, but that wasn't about to stop him. He was the son of the western lord; he feared nothing… nothing except one thing. He feared losing that small friend.

His golden orbs watched her play with the fallen fall leaves. Fall had come so seemingly fast. He couldn't help but wonder on why. Was it because of his new found friendship that the enjoyable moments went by so fast?

"Don't you want to play Sesshoumaru?" Nina asked with a wide grin on her face.

"It's alright Nina, you keep playing," he smiled at her.

"If you say so," she shrugged before throwing more leaves around.

She had them in a large pile and was throwing herself into it. He couldn't help but laugh.

He would do anything for her, he knew he would. If she asked him to throw her into that pile of leaves then he would because she wanted it. She never asked for anything though. Even if she wanted it, he knew she would never ask. That was one thing about her that he didn't approve of. Ever child had things that they wanted… even he did. Why wouldn't she talk about it then?

"Do you want me to come play?" he found himself asking.

"If you want to," she told him, throwing more leaves into the air.

Getting to his feet, he went over to her and picked her up into his arms. Placing a gentle kiss onto her forehead, he tossed her into the large pile of leaves.

Orange and red and yellow and light brown went up into the air around both of them. The forest silence was broken through with laughter. She was laughing when she popped her head out of the top of the pile.

"That was fun," she laughed, falling back onto her back.

He smiled slightly before running over to her and scooping her back up into his arms. They spun around easily since she was so light.

Being with her made him feel so light on the inside… he was happy when he was with her. He could let down his guard with no fear of being betrayed. A young child wouldn't be able to pull betrayal. She was his everything… he hoped that he was her everything as well.

He fell backward and they landed in the pile of leaves. A pleasant smile graced his lips when he heard her giggling and laughter. It was one of his favorite sounds.

"I knew you wanted to play," she laughed; giving him a hug from on top of his chest.

His arms instinctively pulled her close to him.

"Yeah," he assured her, "I always want to play with you."

"Yay!" she cried, hugging him tighter.

He found himself laughing slightly. She could make him do anything.

- - - -

_Seems somebody put out the moon  
_

_Now the road is a minefield  
_

_I can't follow the way she moves  
_

_I can't see past the shadows  
_

_You make the darkness disappear  
_

_I feel found when you stay near  
_

_I know where I am when you are here  
_

_My way becomes so clear_

- - - -

His fingers tickled her sides and she squealed while kicking her feet.

"N-no Sesshoumaru, stop!" the girl pleaded with laughter, "That tickles!"

"That's the point," he told her, continuing.

Her laughter continued… at least until his fingers were forced to stop.

There had been a sound close by; feet on the dead leaves. At first he couldn't think of why someone would come out here at all. Why would anyone disturb the lord's son outside of the castle? Where would the point be? Then he realized what was with him; the half breed.

"What's wrong?" Nina asked with confusion.

She had been having fun.

"Stay in the leaves Nina," he told her with a stern tone as he sat up.

"Why?"

"Because I said so," he told her coldly.

He was on his feet and looking around the area with his golden orbs. He was angry that his mother would send guards to follow after him. She did not trust his judgment.

His feet did not wander from his half bred friend though. He didn't dare to leave her in the hands of death. Nina would not die while he was there to keep her safe.

"I'm sorry master Sesshoumaru," an older male's voice stated through the trees, "but I have my orders."

"I expect you to leave," he told the guard coldly, "I am not harming anything. Nor is anyone else."

"My apologies."

The guard made an appearance and he growled hatefully towards the demon. If he wouldn't let her go… then death was the only option.

The guard dared to try to go past; their guard completely down. He cracked his claws before grabbing the guard's shoulder tightly.

"Master Sesshoumaru, what are you doing?" the guard asked with protest.

"None shall harm that child," he growled.

His claws dug into the guards shoulder before he drove his free claw through the back. A cry of pain filled the air as his arm came out through the guard's stomach.

"W-why master Sesshoumaru?" the guard choked out, "W-why?"

"This child is dear to me," he growled almost hatefully, "Take her away and you shall pay with your life."

It only took a moment, but the guard was dead once he pulled his arm out and the blood disintegrated. It only took a moment to take a life.

He turned back toward Nina who was watching through the pile of leaves; blue eyes wide with fright. Of course such a sight would have frightened her… It would have frightened any child.

"Nina, I'm sorry," he apologized, "but I'll have to cut our day short today."

"Why?" she asked; snapping out of her daze, "I don't want you to go."

"I know," he murmured, "but I have to. There are people expecting me back home and if I don't go back then someone will plan to hurt you."

"…Hurt me?"

"I can't let that happen," he assured her.

"I don't care," she grumbled, "I don't want you to go."

He couldn't stop the agonized expression from reaching his eyes. She was almost begging him not to leave… it was tearing him apart inside. If it wasn't to keep her safe… then he would have stayed to keep her happy. He would have done anything to keep her happy.

"I'll come get you tonight," he promised, "Meet me outside your hut when the sun goes down. We'll spend the night outside."

Nina thought about it for a moment before a big grin appeared on her face.

"Okay!"

His golden orbs followed her as she ran into his arms. He picked her up and pulled her tightly to him. He would risk everything to make sure that she was smiling and happy. There was not a thing that he would not do.

"I'll see you tonight," he promised with a small smile, "Keep safe till then."

"I can do that," Nina said happily, "I'll see you later."

With a nod, he let her go before turning to go back to the castle.

Even a distance away, he could hear her laughing and throwing leaves around again. It wasn't hard to keep her entertained.

* * *

Returning to the castle, he stared coldly at the closed gates. His mother might have ordered the guards to follow him… but his father would have the ability to command them to stop. His father's word was stronger than his mother's.

He opened the gates and walked past the guards and servants. He would talk to his father. He did not appreciate his mother's mistrust.

"W-welcome back master Sesshoumaru," a servant greeted.

Pushing the doors open, he walked into the study to see his father gazing into text.

His father's head looked up to see him and looked rather surprised to see the expression on his face.

"Sesshoumaru, what is troubling you?"

"Mother is troubling me," he growled, "I do not wish to have guards following my every move on the outside."

"What do you mean?" his father asked with furrowed brows.

The guards would not do anything unless they were asked to. It was no wonder that his father would be confused.

"She has guards tracking where I go," he hissed; fists clenched slightly, "She does not trust my judgment and I wish for it to cease."

His father was in thought about his words.

"Why would she do such a thing?"

"She lacks trust in my judgment," he stated with furrowed brows, "I am no longer a child and can make my own decisions."

"If you wish to be left alone, then so shall it be, my son," his father assured him, "Your mother will not be told."

"Thank you father," he bowed before turning to leave.

"Be aware Sesshoumaru that your actions now might effect how you will rule these lands later."

"I know, father," he assured his demon father, "I know exactly how I plan to rule when I am lord."

"Very well Sesshoumaru."

He left the room and went to his own chamber. Servants greeted him but he said nothing; not even casting them a glance. His mind was set on other things; better things.

Nina was usually the only one on his mind. If she was still there when he was lord, then he would not care if he had any other followers. She alone would be good enough to have by his side.

When that small girl was with him… his path was set and his future was bright. His before plans for being a ruler seemed so empty now. A future without Nina would be dull and… empty. It would be so numb.

- - - -

_When you're gone  
_

_Will I lose control?  
_

_You're the only road I know  
_

_You show me where to go  
_

_Who will drive my soul?_

- - - -

He never wished to feel that way again. If it were to happen then he knew that he would fall into his cold feelings. He didn't want for that light feeling to disappear… He didn't want to know what the future would be like without her by his side.

"Please Nina… stay safe," he murmured, sitting against the wall in his chamber.

He would wait there until night… He would wait impatiently to see her again.

* * *

Footsteps walked through the dim light of night. Stars were shining overhead on the night of the new moon. It was only one set going through the dead leaves. He was close… he knew he was. His golden orbs could see easily through the night; much unlike a human's would have.

"Nina," he quietly called from the back of the old hut.

"…Sesshoumaru?" her quiet voice called back.

"Come on Nina," he told her with a small smile on his face, "We're going to a very special place."

The small girl came around the corner with a grin and took his hand.

"Okay," she agreed.

On days when he had nothing to do and Nina's mother needed her, he got to search the area a bit more. He committed most of it to memory… and he remembered an open area with no trees to block the sky. A nearby river ran quietly, making it a peaceful area. It was a private place – undisturbed – away from other creatures.

That was where he was taking her. Together they would stare at the night sky and fall asleep… They wouldn't return until the morning.

When they got there he heard Nina gasp slightly. The stars lit up the area and gave a dull light to the blades of grass and trees. It was a wonderful sight, even at night.

"Sesshoumaru, this place is so pretty!" she exclaimed, pulling his arm in excitement.

"I know," he chuckled slightly, "This is our place; just yours and mine."

"…R-really?" Nina asked; blue eyes lit up with excitement.

"No one else comes here, so it's just you and me."

"Yay!" she cried out happily, wrapping her arms around his waist.

That feeling… he was so used to it now. He welcomed it without a thought. He was wanted here… welcome here… There were no servants to fear him and squeal with glee when he actually asked for something. All there was was a child's laughter and smile… small hands to hold his and guide the way to being lost. She was home… She was his future.

- - - -

_Seems somebody burned out the signs  
_

_I can't expect the hard curves  
_

_There's no borders  
_

_There are no lines  
_

_How can I know where to turn?  
_

_You make the street lights reappear  
_

_I feel bright when you stand near  
_

_I know what I am when you are here  
_

_My place becomes so clear_

_- - - - _

His arms wrapped around her small back before he picked her up into his arms.

"So what are we going to do?" he asked; golden orbs locking with blue ones.

"What do you want to do?" Nina asked with a curious face.

"Whatever you would like," he assured her.

"You want to stare at the stars?" she asked.

Of course… she wouldn't pick something she would want.

"That sounds like a good idea," he agreed with a nod.

They went to the center of the small meadow. He knelt down to set her on her feet before lying straight down on his back. He turned his head and watched as Nina sat down next to him before leaning back. She was propped up on her elbows and looked up. He loved to be with her like this… just the two of them on their own. She meant so much to him… he knew that if he had to, he would die for her. He would do it all for her.

"Sesshoumaru?" her voice broke through the silence.

"…Hmm?" he replied, breaking out of thought and looking at her.

"What do you really want the most?" she asked curiously, "Besides beating your father one day?"

His golden orbs widened slightly at the question. She had never asked him such a question… not really anyway.

He now knew that he wanted and what he hated. He wished that she wouldn't rush into a fight… that she wouldn't have to get hurt anymore. He hated seeing it happen… hated seeing her get hurt in any way. It happened too many times already. Too many creatures wished for a half breed's death.

"What I really desire… is to be able to spend more time with you within each day," he murmured as he looked at her slightly smiling face.

"That would be nice," she agreed with a smile.

"What about you Nina?" he questioned.

She seemed to grin at the question. He didn't really know why she had. Sometimes… she made him wonder.

"I want to see the ocean," she admitted rather quietly, "I bet it's really pretty there."

"It probably smells bad," he murmured.

He was sure that he wouldn't enjoy the smell of salt burning his nose.

"Maybe," she laughed quietly, "You never know."

Nina's voice sounded almost sad with those words and he had caught it all. It was what she wanted – the only thing she had ever told him willingly – and he had scoffed at the idea… basically said that he wouldn't go there with her. That thought stung a little. He had made a wrong choice of words and regretted it greatly… what kind of power did this small girl hold over him? Did he have the same power over her?

His brows furrowed slightly with anguish. He needed to fix his mistake.

"How about we go together Nina?" he asked with a light tone.

He needed her to be happy. He wouldn't stand for her being upset.

"Would you want that?" he continued curiously.

He had drawn her attention with surprise in her eyes. Those blue eyes… they stood out in the night. She was seemingly delighted.

"I wouldn't want to go anywhere without you beside me," she agreed with a wide grin.

He watched her fall onto her back. Her small fingers took a gentle grasp on a small lock of his silver hair.

"I think it would just like you," she whispered with a thoughtful tone, "the ocean…"

Her blue eyes stared up into the endless night sky. They didn't wide with surprise as he took a hold of her hand. He did it often as of late. He knew why… He did it to keep her close to him.

He then pulled her soft skin to his lips before gently kissing the top of her wrist.

"One day Nina," he promised, "One day."

"I can't wait Sesshoumaru," she whispered, "I'm really curious to see if something else is like you."

"I highly doubt that there is," he chuckled slightly.

- - - -

_When you're gone  
_

_Will I lose control?  
_

_You're the only road I know  
_

_You show me where to go  
_

_Who will drive my soul?_

_Will I lose control?_

_You're the only road that I know  
_

_You show me where to go  
_

_Who will drive my soul?  
_

_Drive my soul_

_- - - - _

He loved how light she made him feel inside. He loved her laugh… her smile… her touch… He loved her. It wasn't a brotherly love; he knew that it wasn't. A brother only had the desire to protect his sister… He didn't just want to protect her though. He longed to kiss her and keep her smiling… She was just a child but he couldn't help but want her.

He had told himself that the day for that would come at some point in his life. He was the only demon or human that had actually accepted who she was; accepted **what** she was. Another male would not consider taking his place, not even if they had been able to steal her heart.

"One day," he murmured again.

She continued to grin with his promise. It must have brought a lot of her dreams come true.

There were many dreams in life that wouldn't come true or were hidden away in the subconscious mind. Nina was a person that kept wants to her self. He knew that her family was poor… that her parents were peasants. There was not a lot that her parents could give her so she did not ask. He knew that better than anyone now… but he wanted to give her everything.

Nina rolled onto her side and her blue eyes watched him as he smiled.

"Sesshoumaru, I'm happy that you're my friend," she told him before pulling his silver hair gently.

She pulled herself over and placed her child kiss onto his cheek. He cocked a brow with some confusion at her actions… but he smiled slightly nonetheless. Parents and siblings could exchange a bedtime kiss before sleep.

"Goodnight Nina," he whispered before placing a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"Good night Sesshoumaru."

* * *

When he opened his eyes in the morning, the sun had barely risen over the trees. The low, orange light was enough to wake him for the day.

His golden orbs broke through the morning sight and saw Nina sleeping peacefully right next to him. She had her knees curled up slight with her small hand closed near her face.

"Hey you," he whispered with a small smile.

- - - -

_When you're gone  
_

_Will I lose control?  
_

_You're the only road I know  
_

_You show me where to go  
_

_When you're gone  
_

_Will I lose control?  
_

_You're the only road I know  
_

_You show me where to go  
_

_Who will drive my soul?_

_- - - - _

It felt so… right to wake up with her there. It was the moments like this that made him wonder what he would do if she was gone. How would he be able to live without that precious light in his life?

**End of Chapter 4**

So was that good? Did you all like that? I did. xD I love that chapter. I've been waiting to write that for so long. Well that song was _**Drive my Soul**_. I'm not sure who it's by but if someone's able to let me know then please tell me. Thank you. :3

Thank you for reading! Please R&R and I'll try to update soon. :3 :D


	5. Appropriate

Hello everyone! I know that this chapter is well overdue and for that I'm really sorry. Kazey got me into a Tales of the Abyss fanfic and now that I'm done this story is now back the top of my to-do list.

Thank you so much to those who have read and reviewed so far. You all make me really happy and I'm happy to hear your thoughts after each chapter. :D

Please enjoy. :3

**Appropriate**

Cold ran down the side of his face and he shuddered slightly at the feeling of the melting snow.

"What are you doing?" he questioned with a cocked brow.

"Throwing snowballs," Nina chimed happily.

"Why?" he questioned, confused.

"It's fun," she stated happily, hitting him in the back of the head this time.

"Why are you throwing them at **me**?" he asked again.

"'Cause you're my friend," she laughed pleasantly.

Shaking his head, he got to his feet and grabbed a handful of snow.

"Well if it's because I'm your friend, then I guess I have to show you my affection as well," he mused, turning his golden orbs on his half bred friend.

She hit him in the chest as her reply and laughed happily before running away.

Throwing the snowball, he hit her in the back. She stumbled, falling into the snow. She was on her hands and knees; crawling away through the white fluffy substance. He laughed to himself as she hid behind a tree.

"I wonder where she could be," he mused, pretending not to know where she was.

"I'm not a four year old!" she hissed at him, "I know you know where I am!"

He laughed at her reaction.

"Alright," he mused, grabbing another snowball.

He threw a decoy to get her to tease him on how he missed. When she peered around the tree trunk, he hit her on the top of her head.

She scowled at the action. He laughed, shaking his head before holding his arms open for her. Immediately the scowl turned into a grin as she ran to him. He lifted her into his arms and held her closely to his torso.

"It's getting colder," he murmured, "I think that it would be better for you to stay at your own hut for a little while."

He felt her stiffen almost immediately.

"I don't want to!" she protested, "I won't get sick, I promise!"

"Nina, I don't want to have to worry about you in this kind of weather. Please do me this favor," he prodded, holding her closer.

Her body softened, hugging him back out of defeat.

"Okay," she muttered.

Placing her back on the snow, he ruffled her dark brown hair with a small smile on his face. She made a face before holding his hand.

"Could you walk me home?" she questioned curiously.

He nodded before she started to lead the way back to the small village. She hummed a non-existent tune as she grinned. He was glad that she was happy… that she enjoyed his company.

_- - - - _

_Perfect by nature  
_

_Icons of self indulgence  
_

_Just what we all need  
_

_More lies about a world that_

Never was and never will be

_Have you no shame? Don't you see me?  
_

_You know you've got everybody fooled_

_- - - - _

It was a good feeling – a content feeling – knowing that there was someone that liked him just for who he was. Her kindness wasn't a fake kindness like so many others. It was a real kindness, and he hoped that when she got older it wouldn't change. He wanted to keep the relationship as it was now… keep the adoration that they held for each other.

He hadn't noticed when they broke through the trees and stood at the top of the hill. Villagers were working outside as if there were no thick white layers of snow across the ground. He was surprised to say that they had dedication.

"Okay," the girl pouted, "I guess I'll see you when it gets warmer…"

"Take care, Nina. Don't get sick again."

"I said I promised!"

He chuckled as he watched her slide down the hill. She laughed when she fell down in the snow.

She turned and waved before going into her small hut. With a small smile, he left to go back to the castle. His feet walked rather silently across the snow. His golden orbs glared coldly to the side, locking with the brown ones of a man.

"A-a demon…" the man stuttered with fright.

He glared coldly at the man.

"Does that fact bother you?" he questioned icily.

The man shook with fear and it caused his eyes to narrow.

Why couldn't the mortals see past the appearance of a demon and see that they all weren't savage beings? Were all demons the same in their eyes?

"Be gone mortal," he muttered, continuing on his way.

The man ran toward the village, probably afraid of what may happen if he hadn't left.

When the castle was in sight, he sighed at the sight of the wooden building. How that he had been able to taste the freedom outside of its walls, his born home seemed more like a prison. People ordering him what to do, telling him that his mother or father wished to see him… If only there was a way to keep his freedom and not stay at the castle… He would have taken that path in a moment.

The guards allowed him entry and he passed them in silence. Snow was starting to fall, which meant that he would be confined to the study for a while. Once winter had come, his training had been held off until the spring would come. Once all the snow was melted, he could do as he enjoyed once again.

"Master Sesshoumaru," an older woman called to him, "The lady has been calling for you for quite some time. She wishes that you have a word with her."

His brows knitted together in confusion.

"Can she not wait?" he asked.

"I'm afraid not master Sesshoumaru," the maid apologized with a bow.

_- - - - _

_Look here she comes now  
_

_Bow down and stare in wonder  
_

_Oh how we love you  
_

_No flaws when you're pretending  
_

- - - -

He walked down the hallway that led to his mother's chamber. Her condition was not improving in any way. She was still confined to walking only a certain amount. He wondered if maybe that was what she wished to discuss with him.

He stood and stared at the door before him. It was fully closed and beyond it awaited his mother. Her personal servant had been the one to call for him…

"What does mother want?" he asked himself again with a cocked brow.

He disliked how strict she was on his behavior. He hoped that this wasn't another unending lecture about him having a half bred peasant friend.

Despite the weather, he had been spending much more time with his younger friend. At his age, he could understand exactly what his half bred friend meant to him. He knew fully what she meant to his being – how much he depended on seeing her. He no longer needed to be treated like a small child by his mother.

Slowly, he opened the door and silently stepped into the quiet room. His mother say in her wondrous pink silk kimono covered with blue flowers. Her black hair hung down around her porcelain skin and framed her small face. As per daily, she was quite beautiful.

"You called for me mother?" he questioned as he bowed politely.

"Yes," she stated pleasantly, "I have heard from the guards that they have caught glimpses of you playing with that filthy half breed again… Is this knowledge true?"

His palms clenched tightly at the question. Why was the concept such a large problem to her? Was it wrong to have made such an important friend? Why did such a thing matter to someone upon which would not ever live to see him as a ruler?

"Yes mother," he replied emotionlessly, "It is how you have said. These facts are not lies."

"Did I not make myself clear the last time?" she asked; her tone holding agitation.

"She is no more than a friend, mother," he continued, "Nothing would become of her."

Naturally that was a lie. He was aware of what would happen once she was old enough. He knew what he wanted. This was something he **would** lower himself to lie about.

"You should discontinue your lies Sesshoumaru," she told him through cold eyes and expression, "I know of your expressions toward her. The guards have told me of how… gentle and caring you are with her."

He looked toward his mother with his own cold orbs. He did not care on what she thought on the circumstances. He knew what he wanted, and knew what would occur once the time had come.

"Yes mother, I do indeed love that child," he stated with a fierce gaze, "I do not plan on changing that fact any time soon."

He turned to leave the room but stopped when he heard his mother's laughter.

"My dear son," she mused slightly, "Either you leave her be, or I will have the guards kill her instead. Which would you rather see; her die? Or watch her live for another day?"

His fists clenched tightly all the more at his mother's last statement.

"What might I do to change your opinion?" he questioned emotionlessly.

"That is my final opinion," she stated.

"You would dare to take away the only one friend that I cherish?" he continued, daring to bare his fangs at his mother.

"Your future is at stake if you choose that filthy half breed," she nearly growled, "You would dare to throw that away?"

- - - -

_Never was and never will be  
_

_You don't know how you've betrayed me  
_

_And somehow you've got everybody fooled_

Without the mask, where will you hide?

_Can't find yourself lost in your lie_

- - - -

He growled hatefully in his throat before his mother pointed at him with her claws.

"Keep him locked away for a few days," she ordered the guard at her side, "He needs time to think about what is the appropriate decision."

He coldly glared at the guards, daring them to come after him. They did though, and he decided that it wasn't worth killing these guards, no matter how much he would have enjoyed it.

* * *

Golden orbs stared hatefully at the closed dungeon door. The room was dark and empty… there was nothing but himself and his thoughts.

Was it wrong to want to keep his best friend? Was it wrong to want to set his own path and future? All he had done was want his **own** future and not one that had been decided for him… Was that really so selfish? Why couldn't his mother understand that?

The dark and being in the dungeon alone made his heart cold and hateful. He resented his mother… felt as if he hated her. She told the guards to not let him out… not until **she** thought that he had spent enough time down there. If his mother would do this to her own son… then he knew that he had no choice but to leave Nina alone… to go away for a long time.

_- - - - _

_I know the truth now  
_

_I know who you are  
_

_And I don't love you anymore_

It Never was and never will be

_You don't know how you've betrayed me  
_

_And somehow you've got everybody fooled_

_- - - - _

The thought bothered him to no end. He didn't think that he'd be able to bear turning her away… not now. He was too involved with her to want to give it all up now.

* * *

A day or two had passed before the dungeon door had been opened. His brows were furrowed when a light figure came into his prison.

"Why are you down here my son?" his father's voice asked with confusion.

"Why not ask my betraying mother?" he hissed coldly, glaring at his father.

He had never felt so angry before… he had never hated someone before this.

"Why would she be betraying?" his father questioned.

"She wished for me to eave Nina alone… to stop being friends with her," he explained, fists clenching as his father took away the chains, "She threatened to kill her if I don't."

His father sighed before looking him directly in the eye.

"Your mother just wishes the best for your future Sesshoumaru. She does not wish for you to throw it away, and to her being with a half demon defiled that future," his father explained, "You could always return to her once your mother and I pass on."

He thought about that for a few moments… wondering how true the statement was… wondering if it was possible to do.

Getting to his feet, he walked past his father and up the small dungeon stairway. His thoughts were running through his head. They were speeding on and making his heart ache.

At first he had been looking forward to Spring so he could see his friend once again. Now he wasn't so sure that he wanted it to come at all. How could he possibly get that ready to say such horrible things? How could he bring his heart to be cold enough to do it?

The pain was rather agonizing as he thought about it. If he dwelled off of the idea then it would tear him apart on the inside… it would only get worse. Then how could he stop himself from thinking about it? How could he make himself stronger on the inside?

In mid step, he stopped in the hallway. Golden orbs narrowed at the floor as he pondered the possibilities. He could go for a training journey… leave for a while before coming back in the spring… Spending the last months of winter alone would freeze anyone's heart over.

Feet went to the door to go outside; leaving behind the castle. He needed to get stronger; needed to prove to himself that his mother's will was not stronger than his own. He knew everything that he needed. He would turn his half bred friend away until the time was necessary to bring her back into his life. Once his mother was gone… there would be nothing to stop him from having the future he wanted.

_- - - - _

_It never was and never will be  
_

_You're not real and you can't save me  
_

_Somehow now you're everybody's fool_

_- - - - _

Stepping out into the cold falling snow, his eyes froze over. There was no turning back from this now… there would be no seeing her again before the spring. There would be no one except himself until the spring… until he could prove his mother wrong.

**End of Chapter 5**

So how was it? Was it good? I hope it was. It took me a little while to get started on this chapter and I'm really sorry that it's kind of short. I kind of wanted to get the story moving again, so hopefully the next chapter won't be as short as this one turned out. :D The song for this chapter was **_Everybody's Fool_** by **_Evanescence_**. I really hope that it fits well with this chapter. I thought that it did but I'm not so sure. -- sweat drops --

Thanks again for reading! I love you guys for it! Please R&R and I'll try to update as soon as I get the chance to. :3


	6. Alone

Hey everyone! I know it hasn't really been that long since I last updated this, but like I said, this is now on the top of my to do list. :3 Thank you so much to those who have read and reviewed so far, honestly you guys make me so happy. –hugs you all—Please enjoy this chapter. :D

**Alone**

The world seemed so distant now… so empty. Other demons seemed to cower at the mere sight of him. The thought made him proud; that he had become stronger with his time alone in the forest.

Something moved through the trees, grabbing his attention almost immediately. His right arm struck out sideways, causing his poison whip to strike out against whatever was there. His eyes narrowed at the cry of pain that followed the strike. The scent was familiar – very familiar – which caused his brows to furrow slightly.

Footsteps surrounded him and he was met with four guards from the castle. His expression was stoic upon seeing them as they all stared back with slight disbelief. What had they been searching for?

"Master Sesshoumaru, would you please return to the castle?" one guard asked, almost pleading, "The lady has done nothing but demand to see you for the past two months."

His expression became cold at the mention of his mother. She was the last person he wanted to speak with or hear about.

It was nearly spring; the weather becoming warmer than the cold winter air. Maybe it **was** time that he returned to the castle.

"We have been ordered to escort you back master Sesshoumaru," said another guard.

"I will escort myself back," he stated emotionlessly, "You may leave."

The guards paused at his words before nodding. They left to return back to the castle.

With a quick movement of his arm, he used his whip to cut down a near by tree. His mother… why would she wish to see him, to lock him away again? To rub it in his face that she could kill his small friend with a simple order?

Blue light surrounded him before he took off toward the castle. He would return, but he would not see his mother. She was someone that he would never forgive.

* * *

It started to rain that night; pouring outside the castle walls. He couldn't sleep that night, less than usual. Now that it was warm, he knew that Nin would come looking for him again. The last thing he wanted was to see her upset face… to be the one to crush future dreams.

- - - -

_I close both locks below the window.  
_

_I close both blinds and turn away.  
_

_Sometimes solutions aren't so simple.  
_

_Sometimes goodbye's the only way._

_And the sun will set for you,  
_

_The sun will set for you.  
_

_And the shadow of the day,  
_

_Will embrace the world in grey,  
_

_And the sun will set for you._

_- - - -_

Their promise to see the ocean together would mean nothing now. As soon as he brought it up… What would he do if she never forgave him? What if she could never find it in her heart to ever speak to him again? What would he do? How would he be able to live with that?

His claws clenched at his pant leg at the thought. Even after two months of spending time alone in the forest, he couldn't find a content feeling with living without her beside him. Even now he didn't want to bring himself to say the words that could destroy the future he wanted. He never thought that he would have to be as cold as he never wanted to be.

"I guess that no one can predict the future…" he murmured quietly to himself.

No one knew what would happen tomorrow… he didn't know if he would ever even see Nina again. There was no guarantee that she would come to visit. In the back of his mind, he felt the hope that she wouldn't come; that he would never actually have to say it to her.

Anguish filled him on the inside as he finally tried to fall asleep. In his half sleep state, he had a dream.

_He went out to meet her in the rain filled meadow. His golden orbs were wide at seeing her broken, unmoving body. Her blue eyes were dull and her small body was covered in blood. His body tensed and he grew angry._

He could feel himself changing before a knock on his chamber door broke him out of his dream. His fists were clenched on his mattress, ripping the fabric apart.

His heart was pounding rapidly in his chest at his hatred.

"Master Sesshoumaru is everything alright?" a male voice asked from outside his chamber door.

He tried to force his anger away, realizing that it had been just a dream.

"You were groaning in your sleep," the night guard continued, "I come to make sure that you were okay."

"I'm fine," he grunted, "Go about your duties."

"As you wish, master Sesshoumaru."

When he knew that the night guard was gone, he cursed under his breath. It kept plaguing his mind; not letting him rest at all. It made it hard for him to keep his anger at bay… to keep things the way they should have been.

"I wish that this was all just a dream," he muttered, "that all this would just go away…"

He knew what needed to be done; Nina's life was more important than anything else. He couldn't let her die for his own selfishness. Even if she hated him, he knew that he couldn't let her die… he needed her to stay alive, even if he didn't get to be with her.

* * *

Morning came rather quickly; sunlight shining through his window. The light made him mutter tiredly. He didn't want to get up or even movie. He felt so… empty on the inside. There was nothing he wanted to do more than stare at the ceiling with cold eyes.

A knock on the door made his brows knit together. Why couldn't people just go away? He wanted nothing to do with them.

"Master Sesshoumaru, your father would like to see you," a maid stated nervously from outside his chamber door.

"Is there a specific reason as to why?" he questioned coldly.

"I-I'm not sure," she stammered.

"Tell him I wish to see no one," he ordered, rolling onto his side.

"Yes master Sesshoumaru."

The maid's footsteps hurried away before he got to his feet. He paused for a few moments, not sure on what to do. His mind fell blank – dull – to the things around him. The world felt empty and he knew that this was how every day would pass soon.

"What a sad thing to look forward to," he muttered, slowly moving toward the window.

- - - -

_Pink cards and flowers on your window,  
_

_Your friends all plead for you to stay.  
_

_Sometimes beginnings aren't so simple.  
_

_Sometimes goodbye's the only way._

_- - - - _

Resting his elbows on the windowsill, he rested his head as he looked outside. His golden orbs looked around the gate, finding no sign of his small friend. She must have thought that it was still too cold outside to come for a visit. He smiled rather dryly at the idea.

He assumed that it was a good thing. To prolong what was to come was best he believed. The later he had to tell her… the more time she had to be happy.

With a sigh, he closed his eyes and felt the cool breeze against his face. He missed her so much. He wanted to see her face and her smile… but at the same time he didn't want to see her. How were they going to be able to live with this? How could their friendship last with time after this? She would never be able to forgive him. He could feel his stomach and heart turn at the thought.

Would she ever be able to forgive him after?

* * *

The next morning was just as bad, though it was raining rather hard outside. He forced himself to get out of bed that morning. This day felt wrong and filled him with a kind of anguish.

As he looked out the window, he could see something resting in the bushes; moving its head back and forth in curiosity. He sighed and clenched his fists tightly as he realized that it was Nina. How long had she been waiting there?

He winced at the feeling that was eating him away on the inside. Anguish and guilt… they were things that he didn't like much like. They were uncomfortable on their own, but it was even worse when they were being mixed together. His head hung slightly with shame toward himself. He would have to bring out his cold demeanor and aim it at the last person that he wanted to.

He dressed rather slowly, preparing himself as best he could. His orbs hardened on his chamber door. Once he stepped through that door… there was no turning back. This needed to be done; she needed to stay alive for as long as she could.

Opening the door, he stepped out into the hall before sliding the door shut. Maids and servants said their good mornings, only to go unheard by his keen ears. He didn't say a word to them or give them any acknowledgement at all that he had heard them. His mind was focused as he walked quickly down the hallways.

His expression became all the more cold when the doors to outside came into sight. This was it… no turning back… Once he stepped outside, he could feel the pouring rain against his skin. It was cool and slightly chilly; proof that it was early spring.

"Morning master Sesshoumaru," the gate guard greeted, "Going out again now that the weather has improved?"

"It hasn't improved. It's raining," he stated emotionlessly.

"That is true," the guard laughed rather sheepishly; embarrassed.

The gate opened slowly and he walked through without another word. He needed to get to her before a guard would see her waiting. There she was, not paying attention in a near by bush. She was probably too busy thinking to herself he assumed with an inward smile.

He went over to her, her back to the castle.

"You should not be waiting in the rain," he said rather emotionlessly.

He caught her jerk slightly with surprise before she turned to look at him.

"H-how did you-"

He placed two fingers on her lips to cur her off. If they were heard then her life would surely be at risk.

"There are guards near," he stated stoically, his expression nearly blank, "You should not be here."

- - - -

_Pink cards and flowers on your window,  
_

_Your friends all plead for you to stay.  
_

_Sometimes beginnings aren't so simple.  
_

_Sometimes goodbye's the only way._

- - - -

He saw her open her mouth to say something, but he quickly took hold of her wrist and started to run. They needed to get as far away from the castle as possible. He wanted nothing to happen to her afterward. She could barely keep up with him; he could hear her feet stumble occasionally behind him.

After a few moments of running deeper into the forest, he stopped to release her wrist. She looked so confused by his actions. He couldn't really blame her.

"What's going on?" she asked with a cocked brow.

With a deep breath, he looked coldly into her blue eyes… the eyes that he would miss greatly.

"We can't be friends anymore."

He caught her expression drop; could imagine her young heart breaking in her chest. Her expression caused him to wince slightly. He could tell that she wasn't going to forgive him for a long time.

"You're a young girl, Nina… My parents have become suspicious as to where I go from time to time," he explained, trying to make is as clear as possible, "We can't be friends anymore."

Tears welled up in her eyes at his words. Her eyebrows were knitted together tightly at the pain. Watching made him want to apologize and take it all back; to comfort her. It seemed like a bad joke to him; like someone was making this happen just for fun.

He couldn't apologize though. He knew he couldn't; knew he couldn't take it all back now. He needed for it to hurt so she would stay away. To make the pain worse, he turned without a word to leave.

"Please don't go," she pleaded quietly – sounding like a whimper – as she fought through the tears.

He paused for a moment with a solemn expression toward the ground. This wasn't just hurting her… it was killing him on the inside. He was ripping out his own heart.

"Please Sesshoumaru…" she continued, "I'll behave more. I won't hit you with snowballs anymore!"

That was another deep strike to his heart. She was perfect the way she was. There was no need for her to change. The only problem was his damned mother. If his mother knew nothing or was dead, then they could have stayed friends as they had planned.

"I won't hit you with snowballs anymore," she bawled from behind him.

Clenching his fists, he forced himself to walk away from her.

He left her there on her own; alone in the middle of the forest. To her it must have felt like he was asking her to go die. Alone in the forest where pure blooded demons could kill her easily… He wouldn't blame her if she had actually believed that was his meaning; if that was what she thought he wanted.

"I hope I suffer for eternity for this," he muttered to himself.

He stopped within a hearing range of Nina. He could hear her whimpering and her mumbling to herself. He wouldn't just leave her there all alone. He would stay close by to make sure that she made it back home. Even it – to her – it seemed like her wanted her to die, he wasn't going to let it happen. He knew that he couldn't do that no matter how hard he tried.

* * *

Golden orbs shot open as a sound stirred in his ears. He had fallen asleep listening to the small girl's tears. Maybe that was why this new sound had woken him so suddenly – because it was so different.

Getting to his feet, his brows furrowed as he listened. He believed that he knew this sound… he had heard it many times before. The only problem was; he didn't know from where.

It wasn't a sound of nature, like the birds or crow demons squawking at the sight of a dead corpse. It was not the thudding of branches falling off of their trees, not the wind howling violently. It was not even the sound of the rain falling around him.

This sound was something only demons and humans could make… the sound of flesh hitting flesh.

- - - -

_And the sun will set for you,  
_

_The sun will set for you.  
_

_And the shadow of the day,  
_

_Will embrace the world in grey,  
_

_And the sun will set for you._

- - - -

His eyes widened at the realization before his feet took off in the direction it was coming from.

"You're pathetic to even try half breed," a deep voice mused as he drew closer, "No one would come to your aid even if you did scream."

Upon coming to the scene, he felt his heart fill with hatred. A filthy run away wolf hound had run away from its pack. The demon had its hand over Nina's mouth, holding her off the ground. Her arms and cheeks were bruised already; her hoari torn and covered in mud.

He clenched his claws tightly. There was no possibly way that this wolf mutt would escape with his life.

"Don't you believe me? You might as well stop struggling and accept your death already," the demon mused with a slight smirk.

Nina's claws dug at the wolf's, trying to pull it off her face. After a moment, the wolf cried out with pain as Nina dug her fangs into the meat of its hand.

The wolf flung her to the side; throwing her into a tree trunk. His feet took to action then, intervening with the wolf. As the demon swung its claw at the unconscious girl, the claw was stopped halfway through.

"I suggest that you go back to your pack, wolf," he growled threateningly, digging his claws deep into the wolf's forearm.

"Why would I want to do that, mutt?" the wolf asked, sounding amused.

"**You** might be amused, but **I** am not," he hissed before pulling the wolf's arm and swinging a free claw.

A cry of pain filled the rainy area.

The wolf's arm was thrown away before his claw crossed to go in the direction if came from. Blood splattered around him, covering his white hoari and face.

Cold amber eyes watched as the wolf mutt's head rolled across the mud covered ground.

"Are you amused **now**?" he asked the head hatefully before crushing it with his whip.

With the demon being destroyed, he turned to his unconscious once friend.

"No matter what I say," he murmured as he turned to her, "You'll always be the greatest friend that I ever had… and the one that will ever be able to steal my heart."

He picked the younger girl into his arms and began walking toward the poor village. She didn't deserve to be treated like she was. Because of the form she was born into, many people shunned her; hated her. He found that it was a cruel way to treat something only because it was half of both demon and human.

"One day all the people that treated you poorly will be put to shame. They'll all see just how great you truly are," he whispered assuringly, "Just as I have."

- - - -

_And the shadow of the day,  
_

_Will embrace the world in grey,  
_

_And the sun will set for you._

And the shadow of the day,

_Will embrace the world in grey,  
_

_And the sun will set for you_

- - - -

The village came into sight and he inwardly sighed. This would be the last he would see of her face to face for a long time… His expression became solemn as he went to her family hut.

No one was there, just as he suspected. He wondered what it must feel like to live with uncaring parents. To him the thought sounded rather pleasing; to do just as **he** so chose. Then he believed that she would think caring parents to be appealing.

Placing her small frame onto the mattress, he smiled softly to himself. She really would be interesting when she got older.

"Goodbye Nina…" he murmured, turning to leave.

As he was going through the door, he moved the screen out of the way.

"Sesshoumaru…" she murmured from behind him.

He paused for a moment at the sound of his name.

"We… had fun… didn't we?" she asked weakly.

"… Too much fun," he whispered before pushing his feet to keep walking through the door.

No matter how much they wanted it differently… they had to say goodbye. He just wished that he could have explained it to her; to let her have the chance to understand. They didn't have the chance though… things had somehow changed too suddenly.

Now that he had spoken his words… both of them would have to live with goodbye…

**End of Chapter 6**

So… how was it? o.O Please god no one kill me! I'm sorry that that's the end of the chapter but I swear that it's not the end of the story! I'm not gunna end it that way! ---runs away from angry fans--- I'm sorry if it seemed really short. When I was writing it, it seemed a lot longer on the paper. I don't know. I'm sorry if it seemed short though.

Thank you so much for reading. Please R&R and I'll try to update this again soon. :D


	7. Absence

Hey everyone! I know it's been a long time since I updated, but it's been a long time since I updated anything actually. o.O I'm extremely sorry for my absence, I honestly don't know what I was doing Dilly Dallying like that. –sliding bow down—

Thank you to all who have read and reviewed so far, I hope that you will continue enjoying this story right through to the end. :3

Please enjoy.

- - - - _Means lyrics_

**Absence**

His golden orbs looked blankly through a text he had been told to read. It was a piece of history that he had read before, his parents never knowing that he had. He was staring blankly at the page, not even reading it.

There was no point in trying to concentrate when his mind didn't want to. A few days had passed since the day he had abandoned her. He had pushed his guilt away; kept it at bay. It made him feel empty, like his heart was frozen over.

They had been friends for months, getting closer with each passing day. Out of all those days, they had only fought once in the fall.

_**Fall… **_

He watched her play absentmindedly in the leaves. She wasn't humming, only looking down at the colourful collection of leaves in front of her. It made him smile on the inside, knowing that she was happy with him.

"Sesshoumaru…" she started quietly.

He didn't understand the confused expression on her face. She looked… unhappy in a way.

"Yes Nina?" he questioned with a raised brow.

"Is there… a way to become whole demon?"

His golden orbs widened immediately at the question. Why would she want to change herself? Why would she want to give away the part of her that was keeping her sane?

"You would have to trade away the human half of yourself for a part of another demon. Give away your soul," he stated almost angrily, "Why do you ask?"

"Maybe… maybe I should do that…" she murmured quietly.

He got to his feet and was in front of her almost immediately.

His eyes were serious and upset as he stared into her surprised blue ones.

"You will _not_ do anything of the sort," he nearly growled.

"…Why not?"

"You would not be the same," he hissed.

"How would it change how I feel about everything?" she asked, getting upset herself.

How could he explain to her that it would change everything about her? That she wouldn't become a pure blooded demon, but a monster in its place?

"It just will, Nina," he told her sternly, "I forbid you from doing such a thing. You are fine the way you are."

"No, I'm not!" she growled back at him, "If I was whole then no one could make fun of me anymore… no one could treat me differently."

"So you would rather be called a monster?" he asked, daring her to answer.

"I'd rather be called that than filthy or disgusting!" she yelled at him, "You're not my parents, you can't tell me what to do!"

"Stop acting like a selfish child, Nina," he told her coldly.

His brows were furrowed as her eyes filled with tears. He reached for her hand, thinking that he was won. She knocked it away, glaring angrily at him. Her foot kicked him in the shin before she ran toward the village.

_**Present**_

Now that he looked back on it, his eyes became solemn. How could he have said such a thing to her? Even out of anger, it was a terrible thing to say to her.

"No wonder she was crying," he murmured to himself.

She should have said something cruel back to him, to get even. She never did, not even when he came to get her two days later.

He could feel his heart ache at the memory, finding that he wished she _had_ yelled at him. He wished that she would have put him in his place… that she would have screamed at him when he had abandoned her.

Anger, that was what he felt now; at both himself and his mother. Most of his anger was directed at himself, even more so than his mother. His mother may have threatened his small friend… but _he_ didn't try to keep Nina safe. He was the one that didn't fight; the one that just gave up everything.

His fists clenched at the mere idea of what he had done.

"Fool," he muttered at himself.

His hidden guilt tried to push itself to the front of his mind, making him push it all away again.

"Master Sesshoumaru would you like for me to prepare your bath?" a young maid asked from outside the study.

He glanced at the door before glancing at the window.

If his mother and father believed that he was in his bath… then he could have a few moments of peace outside. The rain had yet to let up in the few days, seeming to consistently remind him of what he had done.

"Yes," he replied to the maid, "Tell the lord and lady that I do not wish to be disturbed for any reason."

"As you wish master Sesshoumaru," she said pleasantly before her footsteps were going down the hall.

Turning to the window, he dropped the text and opened it. The fall from where he was in the palace was high, but he knew that it wouldn't hurt him.

"This gives me time to check on the damage that I have dealt," he murmured to himself before dropping.

If he saw the condition Nina was in, then maybe he wouldn't have to keep his guilt so far hidden. He knew that it could have also been the opposite; seeing her could make the guilt be even worse. Inside, he hopes that it wasn't the latter.

His feet moved quickly to the wall that protected the palace before jumping over it with ease. As he landed, he glanced at his sides to see if he had been caught.

Nothing…

Running, he went through the trees. The leaves were growing well with the new spring. Their buds were sprouting quickly with the amount of rain.

Time seemed to move too slowly for him to stand. As fast as he ran… it didn't seem to make much of a difference. The more he thought about seeing her, the faster he wanted to get to her. Time… that seemed to be what was going to keep them apart. The days from now till his parents' death were a long time away; longer than he wished it to be.

When the village finally appeared through the trees, he went down the hill at a quick pace; not being able to wait any longer. The old hut was a relief to see. He sat against the back of the hut, listening to what was happening inside.

"Have you seen Nina?" her mother's voice asked from inside.

"No, I haven't," her father replied, sounding uncaring, "Why?"

"She knows better than to leave the hut the day she's to turn human," he mother explained, "I haven't seen her since last night…"

His eyes widened at the mention of her night to become human. Was that what happened to them? Did they really become defenseless for an entire night?

He had never read of such things in texts of heard of such a change from his mother… If it was truly the case, then he needed to keep her out of harm's way.

Instinctively, he took off to the forest. He knew all of their favorite places; all the places that she could have been. She wasn't at the log or at the cave… She was nowhere near their special place. Running through the vast forest, it seemed like it had been hours of searching.

No place he looked seemed to matter. The rain washed away any scent, made a mess of evidence of people.

"Did she… run away?" he asked himself, making his way back to the palace.

If he wanted to find her, then he would need to wait for drier weather. If every scent was washed away, then he had no choice of finding anything in the rain.

His run slowed to a walk as his feet began to feel heavy. All this was because of what he had done. If he hadn't abandoned her, then she wouldn't have disappeared so suddenly. If only there had been a way to do things differently…

"S-Sesshoumaru?" her voice suddenly cut through the rain.

The sound of her voice brought him violently back to reality and out of his thoughts. His fists clenched at his lack of being prepared; for being caught off guard.

"Are you… still mad?" Nina asked quietly; her voice sounding broken.

He didn't answer… _couldn't_ answer.

- - - -

_Hold on to me love  
_

_You know I can't stay long  
_

_All I wanted to say was I love you and I'm not afraid  
_

_Can you hear me?  
_

_Can you feel me in your arms?_

Holding my last breath

_Safe inside myself  
_

_Are all my thoughts of you  
_

_Sweet raptured light it ends here tonight_

- - - -

His brows furrowed at the situation and he turned his head away. How could he look at her after he had been so worried? How could he hide that worry away from her so quickly?

"I just… I wanted to see if you were still mad… but you are…" she murmured, looking at the ground, "Please… please don't stay angry… but if you hate me, I understand. I… I hate me too."

There was a violent tug on his heart with those words. No… he didn't hate her. That was the last thing that he could have felt about her. It was such a far away emotion that it couldn't have even been felt.

Small arms wrapped around his waist and he could smell the salt in the air. Even with the rain, he knew that she was crying.

"I hate me too, Sesshoumaru," she mumbled into his soaked obi.

His fists clenched tighter at her touch. He couldn't comfort her; couldn't tell her to stop hating herself… He couldn't allow himself to speak those kind words. If he spoke them to her, he knew that he wouldn't be able to put on his cold demeanor in front of her again. He would fail… and she would die because of it.

Her grip loosened and the weight of her body shifted on his waist. She had cried herself to sleep…

"If only there had been a way for me to be born a peasant as well," he whispered before lifting Nina into his arms.

She slept sounded as he took her back to the village.

At that moment, he could have taken Nina and ran far from the western lands and his wretched mother. There were no guards to stop him from it. He would have if it wouldn't have taken away from his dream to defeat his father or threatened her life. A dream… or a future? Which one really seemed more important at the moment?

He stopped just outside of her hut, knowing what he had to do. No matter the circumstances, he couldn't risk her life. Her life meant more to him than anything else. He could suffer through the guilt fighting inside him and the regret… He could suffer an eternity if it kept her alive.

"Nina," he whispered to the sleeping girl, "I will always love you."

Placing a gentle kiss on her forehead, he took her inside the hut before going back to the palace.

* * *

His mother had not been impressed with his 'long bath', having wanted to take one herself. She had scolded him and told him that he should not spend so much time in warm water. According to his mother, extremely long baths weren't healthy.

He sat in his bed chamber, thinking about what had happened only hours ago. The solemn expression on Nina's face when she had stated she hated herself… it burned a hole through him. He loved everything about her, and she had stated that she hated everything about herself. To him, it was like she was saying she didn't want him to love her…

Hanging his head, he sighed at the thought. She would never know his feelings of her. He would never get to speak those words to her, and he would never hear them from her. By his parents' death, he would long be married to some lady of the lands. It would be too late to find her then.

- - - -

_I'll miss the winter  
_

_A world of fragile things  
_

_Look for me in the white forest  
_

_Hiding in a hollow tree __**(come find me**__)  
_

_I know you hear me  
_

_I can taste it in your tears_

Holding my last breath

_Safe inside myself  
_

_Are all my thoughts of you  
_

_Sweet raptured light it ends here tonight_

- - - -

It seemed like fate didn't hold his favor at all. His golden orbs dropped to the floor. If he looked to the night sky, then he would only remember the night he had spent with her. Even looking at the floor, that didn't help much either.

His fists clenched as pain ached at his heart. He couldn't deny it. He couldn't hide the feelings from himself. He missed her dearly. He missed her small laugh and the childish grin that she gave him. Hugging her felt merely like a dream. All those things were what he needed, and all those things were what he would never have again.

* * *

Weeks passed by slowly. The rain had finally cleared from the area and the buds had fully become leaves. The cherry blossoms in the garden bloomed wonderfully with the warming weather. Their beauty was something he found easy to enjoy. Under the trees seemed to be the only place his thoughts could be calm.

He sat against a tree trunk, his golden orbs closed as a cool breeze touched his face.

Things had evened out with his daily schedule. Most of it involved training, which kept the thoughts of Nina away easily. Other parts involved studying texts and scouting the forests with guards for intruders. That was what this day was to consist of; looking for enemy demons.

With a sigh, he opened his cold eyes slowly. The petals feel from their flowers and he watched them land. He would be leaving soon, and the guards were getting ready to leave at his command. He was cautious in leaving. How would he be able to handle seeing her with all those guards around? Would they all want to kill her?

He assumed that they would.

Seeing her always made his guilt fight against its restraints in his heart. Those sad eyes that used to hold the greatest joy… they would barely even look at him now. He understood though, he wouldn't want to look at himself either. When he did look at himself, he pictured his mother standing behind him, smirking about her victory. His cold demeanor, he hated seeing that more than anything.

- - - -

_Closing your eyes to disappear  
_

_You pray your dreams will leave you here  
_

_But still you wake and know the truth  
_

_No one's there_

Say goodnight

_Don't be afraid  
_

_Calling me calling me as you fade to black_

- - - -

Getting to his feet, he started to walk to the palace gates. All the guards were assembled and ready to depart. He led them through the gates without even saying a word.

Before they could even depart, he caught the familiar scent. As he turned to the right, he saw a guard pointing his spear at her. His fists clenched at the sight. If it had been up to him, he would have ran the guard through with his own claws for even considering threatening Nina.

"Should I just kill a vermin like you?" the guard asked her.

"So I'm vermin now?" she asked coldly.

"Why you-"

He took a step forward at their conversation.

"Leave her," he ordered the guard coldly, "She's not worth the time."

He saw her expression drop with his words. Of course they would wound her, just as they wounded him.

"Master Sesshoumaru?" the guard questioned with confusion.

"A half breed is not worth killing. Leave her," he ordered again before turning to walk away.

"I don't need your mercy," the girl murmured before getting to her feet and running away.

He walked as well, back toward the palace. Why was it that she had the power to give him these human emotions? Suddenly, he didn't feel like going through the forest. All he wanted to do was sit in his room and do nothing.

"Master Sesshoumaru, are we not going?" the guard asked, still confused.

"All of you go, I shall stay here."

"Are you well master Sesshoumaru?"

"Go!" he nearly hissed.

All the guard scattered and they started to run through the forest. He then retreated to his chamber and sat against the wall. Maids and servants knocked on the door to see if he was well. He gave no reply, desiring no company.

"_I hate me too, Sesshoumaru."_

"_I don't need your mercy."_

Those words were what destroyed any hope for a friendship again. There was nothing that would bring her back to him now. She hated him…

- - - -

_**Say goodnight**_

_Holding my last breath_

_**Don't be afraid**_

_Safe inside myself_

_**Calling me calling me as you fade to black**_

_Are all my thoughts of you_

_Sweet raptured light it ends here tonight_

_**Holding my last breath  
**_

_**Safe inside myself  
**_

_**Are all my thoughts of you  
**_

_**Sweet raptured light it ends here tonight**_

- - - -

His fists clenched tightly at the thought. He could only hope that maybe one day she would be able to forgive him. His heart ached in his chest as he leaned his head back.

"Maybe…" he whispered, feeling an unwelcome emotion.

He saw his vision blur with water and then slowly, tears fell down his cheeks. For the first time since he was a small child… he was crying…

**End of Chapter 7**

So… was that alright? I'm really sorry for the shortness and that it's not as long as the other chapters. Hopefully I'll be back in the writing groove again and I'll be able to post to all of your desires. :D Thank you all so much for reading. I look forward to seeing your reviews. Please R&R, and I swear that I'll update again soon.

**_PS. the song was My Last Breath by Evanescence._**


	8. A Nightmare

Hey everyone! This is chapter 8 and hopefully chapter 9 will be on it's way to the writing board as soon as I get my butt in better gear and there's not so much camping going on. :3 I started to write a third piece to this little series, but it's in production so hopefully that will be out soon too. :D

Thank you so much to those of you that have read and reviewed. I really love you guys. ---hugs---

Please enjoy!

- - - - means lyrics

**A Nightmare**

The world seemed so numb around him. The only thing to keep him company was his anger which he had trouble controlling as of late. He found himself having horrible dreams at night. No… Not dreams. They were more like nightmares.

At night he found his thoughts wandering to her; he would always wonder why she would keep coming back to wait for him. After how he treated her… why hadn't she given up on him? It had been weeks since he had spoken to her last… possibly even many months… It was difficult to keep track of the days that continued to pass anymore.

It could have been longer for all he knew. Each passing day he wished that she would stop coming to wait for him. If she kept coming, then he wouldn't be able to hide his guilt… he wouldn't be able to stay strong like he wished.

- - - -

_I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears  
_

_And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave  
_

_Your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone_

- - - -

It was her that was causing his dreams; his guilt of his actions. He kept dreaming that she would die no matter what; that someone would kill her even if he stayed away. It was believable that his mother would go against her words… that she would do something like that.

Wincing, he closed his eyes to go to sleep again that night. He was to train in the morning with a group of guards. His father was busy tending to his mother, her illness worsening. That fact made him pleased in a way, that his mother was getting what was coming to her.

* * *

Opening his golden orbs, his mouth formed a hard line at the knock on his chamber door.

"Master Sesshoumaru, the guards have assembled in the gardens," a servant stated outside the door, "They are waiting for you to begin."

He looked away from the door and didn't reply.

"…Master Sesshoumaru?" the servant questioned.

"Return to your duties," he ordered icily.

The guards could wait until he got there. They couldn't tell him when and where to start… He couldn't allow it.

Getting to his feet, he went to the open window. It was a daily ritual to check to see if she was there. His golden orbs searched through the bushes, seeing nothing. He raised a brow. She wasn't there… but she was _always_ there… What was so different about now? She had been there through rain and shine and winter…

His eyes widened with the thought of winter. More than a few months had passed already… over a year… maybe even two… His brows pushed together at the realization. Had he been so preoccupied in trying to forget Nina that he had missed two years? Had it already been that long?

- - - -

_These wounds won't seem to heal; this pain is just too real  
_

_There's just too much that time cannot erase_

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears

_When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears  
_

_And I held your hand through all of these years  
_

_But you still have all of me_

- - - -

Turning away from the window, he put on his red and white hoari and got ready for training. He walked silently through the halls, paying no attention to those around him. Fighting the guards would take his mind off of Nina. He knew that it would.

Coming to the gardens, he saw the twelve guards standing at the ready. They were ready to fight with him.

"Four on one," he stated simply when he was close to them.

Quickly, the twelve demons separated into groups of fours. One group drew their swords and the other two groups stood back.

He stood at ease, hardly seeing a challenge in training against mere guards. He wanted to fight his father… he wanted to be the only demon to have ever defeated the great dog demon of the west. He would never achieve that when fighting palace guards.

"Fight as you choose," he told them, cracking his claws.

All four attacked at once – two in the front and two in the back – coming at him with their swords. As one blade was swung at him, he used his arm to block the attack before shifting his weight and punching the guard in the stomach. He straightened his arm before his index and middle finger began to glow. Using the whip, he swung his arm and struck every standing guard around him. All twelve fell to their knees, some unconscious.

Pathetic. That's what this was. He had used little to no effort and all of them were lying on the ground. Leaving, he left all the guards where they were. They would heal well enough.

His feet took him to the palace gates and he raised a brow at why he would come there. Was it curiosity that drew him there? Did he want to know why she hadn't come for the first time in so long?

He turned away from the gate and back toward the palace. He wouldn't let his curiosity get the better of him. He needed to keep the distance that had come between them; at least… for her safety…

* * *

She ran, ran faster than her legs had gone before. She had said her goodbyes to her parents and turned away and ran. Now that she was nine, she could see the resentment that her parents held of her. there was no longer a reason to stay in that poor village; nothing to tie her there.

For two years she sat and waited. Two years of watching and seeing all the anger in her once friend's eyes… She couldn't take it any longer. She needed freedom. She needed to be rid of the pain that burned greatly at her heart.

- - - -

_You used to captivate me by your resonating light  
_

_Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind  
_

_Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams  
_

_Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me_

- - - -

Everything that had happened two years ago… it haunted her now. All the smiling and laughter didn't mean anything anymore. She couldn't smile about them now. No… Now they only hurt her. There was no longer anything that could bring that smile to her face. It was too far out of reach that happiness… that future…

There was nothing in the distance.

* * *

A couple days passed and there was still no sign of Nina. She finally stopped coming… He wasn't sure if he was supposed to be happy or upset. In a way he was both. He was upset to see her walk away from him… but elated that she was safe at home.

The knocking on his chamber door caught his attention. When the door slid open, his eyes narrowed at the expression on his father's face.

"Sesshoumaru, your mother wishes to see you," his father explained, motio0ning toward the doorway.

"Does it weigh any factor that I do not desire to see her?" he questioned with an emotionless tone.

"She is dying, my son. Death is in the air," his father stated, "She wishes to see you before passing on."

He thought about his father's words for a moment before getting to his feet. Nodding, his father led him down the hallways.

The maids and servants all looked grim as he walked by them. His father was right; the smell of death really was in the air. It was mostly concentrated on his mother's chamber, where the source was.

His father opened the door and guided him forward toward his mother. She was lying in her bed, the covers over her and sweat pouring down her face. She didn't look like she had before. Her porcelain skin was pale white and her hair was in disarray. He had to admit that it was hard to look at her in that state.

"Oh my Sesshoumaru," she stated quietly, her voice no more than a whisper, "Please live as you have been taught. I know that you till make a powerful, proud demon lord one day."

"Thank you mother," he stated, bowing to his mother.

"Take care, my son," she whispered, smiling a small smile before closing her eyes.

Death took her then. Her breaths stopped and her body was still. His father placed a hand on his shoulder and he could sense the grief through the castle. He wouldn't grieve for her though, not now or in ten years. He was not a son to her, but a piece of clay to mold. That was all he had ever been. If she cared, she would have allowed him to be with Nina; she would have allowed him to keep his friend.

- - - -

_These wounds won't seem to heal; this pain is just too real  
_

_There's just too much that time cannot erase_

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears

_When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears  
_

_And I held your hand through all of these years  
_

_But you still have all of me_

- - - -

Once his father's hand let go of his shoulder, he slowly turned to leave the chamber. They could all grieve together. He would be out searching for what should have rightfully been his.

* * *

He went through the forest with quick feet. He ran to the poor village and down to the old hut. His nose caught a distant scent and he raised a brow with confusion. Her scent should have been more recent than that…

Turning around, he saw her father standing there; his expression serious.

"Where is your daughter?" he asked the demon, his own expression serious.

If anyone should have known, it should have been her parents.

"I don't know," the demon admitted with a shrug, "I believed that she was with you when she said that she was leaving."

His golden orbs widened and his back went rigid with those words. She left?

"Who knows where she went or how long she'll last on her own," her father continued, "Half breeds don't usually last long on their own."

"You are her father, and you're just going to let her die?" he asked, his fists clenching tightly.

This demon… this demon didn't deserve to be Nina's father. That kind hearted girl… she deserved so much more than this demon. Out of anger, his eyes started to glow red and he could feel his body starting to change. His teeth gritted together as a loud growl was growing in his throat.

With a change in the wind, he became a large white dog.

"I see how it is," her father murmured, drawing a sword.

He attacked the demon with his large fangs, his acid like drool burning the ground. Her father used his sword to block before slashing at him. The blade caught his right front leg, cutting the flesh. With a swat of the right paw, he knocked the demon into the forest.

The two ran through the forest, fighting fiercely. He knew that he was allowing his anger to control him, but at the time, he didn't care. A tough battle was what he needed… He needed to vent his anger…

* * *

He stumbled at the blood loss. Nina's father had fought well, using his claws and sword well. It wasn't enough though. I wasn't just her father that had treated her poorly, but the entire village.

His drool created a poison mist through the village; decaying all the old huts and killing many people. Very few had managed to survive.

"Filthy creatures," he muttered, leaning against a tree trunk.

He was panting tiredly and struggling to make it back to the palace.

In his blurry vision, he caught sight of the cave he had once explored. It would have made a good place to rest for the time being. He needed cover before he was found wounded. Slowly, he made his way to the cave opening. He sat down against its walls and caught his breath.

- - - -

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
_

_But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along_

- - - -

A small smirk found its way to his lips as he thought about what he had done. He had fought for her – killed for her – even though she was nowhere near the danger. He would have done it all for her… He would have done everything… and now she was gone.

"Such a shame," he murmured, closing his eyes to rest.

* * *

He never returned to the palace when he awoke in the cave. His feet began to wander, and he had left the shelter of the western plains. He trained and killed many demons with his claws, finding none that were of a real challenge.

After a few months, he had heard word of his father. There was a human woman that was in a large family by the ocean. On his father's travels he had come across her and they had spent a night of passion together. She was now pregnant with his father's child and he was to have a half sibling.

The idea of this didn't appeal to him very much. A human wife meant that she would need constant protection against other demons. His father would become no more than a doting husband instead of the giant dog demon. He could not stand the idea of his father becoming weak.

He returned to the palace to speak with his father. There was no way to change what had happened, but he could persuade his father to not return to her.

"M-master Sesshoumaru," a servant stuttered with surprise, "What a pleasure to have you return."

"Where is my father?" he asked icily, his cold eyes looking at the servant.

He could sense the fear coming off the servant from his gaze.

"In the gardens, master."

Without another word, he walked down the familiar hallways to the outside gardens. There was his father, standing beside one of the smaller patches of flowers.

"So you have returned Sesshoumaru," his father stated pleasantly, not turning to look at him.

"You cannot go to this woman father," he started, his brows furrowing, "She will make you weak!"

"Me loving her is no different than you loving that half bred child Sesshoumaru," his father explained, "They would both need as much protection as the other."

His yes froze at the mention of Nina. How could he compare the two? Nina had claws and strength. That pregnant human woman could use nothing to defend herself.

"I no longer feel such things," he stated emotionlessly, "She is making you weak father. You were once a proud demon lord, now you're becoming their pet."

"Say what you will, my son, but it does not change what will happen."

His fists clenched tightly with agitation toward his father. If his father became weak, then he would have no one to defeat. There would be no demon to prove his strength against… there would no longer be a challenge left for him.

"The child will be born in a few months," his father started, "Would you come to see its birth?"

"I suppose that I have no choice in the matter."

"Meet me by the ocean at that time."

He turned and left his father in the gardens. His father would not listen to what he had to say, so he would do as he wished. He would meet his father as requested, but not to see the child's birth.

- - - -

_When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears  
_

_When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears  
_

_And I held your hand through all of these years  
_

_But you still have all of me, me, me_

- - - -

He would get the victory that he had waited so long to have. His father was the only demon strong enough that was worth defeating. After his father's defeat, he would then proceed to look for Nina.

If there was still that sliver of hope, then she would travel to the ocean. If she was going to the ocean, then he would meet her there. Things would be explained properly.

After those two years of convincing himself that she was gone, he knew that she wasn't. He would find her and she would learn the truth.

**End of Chapter 8**

I hope that that was a good chapter. I personally think it was a little rushed and I'm sorry if you guys all felt that way too. Hopefully the next chapter will be a little longer as well. :3 Thank you so much for reading! The song was _**My Immortal**_ by _**Evanescence**_ and I hope that you all thought that it fit in with the chapter.

Thank you so much for reading! Please R&R and I'll update as soon as I can. :3


	9. Far Away

_Hey everyone. I just wanted to apologize for the major delay of getting this chapter out. I feel really bad but I don't have an excuse for not updating, so I'm just really sorry. –sliding bow down—_

_So this is the last chapter, I'm hoping that you will all like it. _

_Please enjoy._

**Far Away**

Time passed as he had traveled and walked through the lands. There had been times where he passed places he had seen before, others that he had not. The days were blurred together, the thought of what was to come plaguing his mind. What was he to say to her? How could he explain himself after so much time had already passed?

His brows pushed together as he thought about it; his golden orbs staring into the flames of a small fire. Winter was upon the lands, covering them with a lasting snow. There had been times where he found that it was hard for him to stay in the cold. One would need a place to shield them from the wind to keep them selves warm.

A tug pulled on his heart with the idea of the cold, making his claws grasp at the snow. He couldn't stop himself from hoping that Nina knew how to keep warm in such weather. She was still merely a child and she was on her own… there wasn't anything he could do but search with the hope that she was still alive. He didn't know what he would do if he found that her breath had been taken from her… if she had been taken from him by the damned.

_How many times will the clock go around  
_

_How many times can my hands hit the ground  
_

_How many coffins before there's a crown  
_

_How far will I fall till the alarm sounds_

_How come you love me when I am ugly_

_Guess I can only hope_

With his frustration of the thought, he lashed out at an old tree; cutting its trunk to pieces. Controlling his anger was still one of the things he needed to work on. It was an inner demon that constantly clawed at his heart. It needed to be contained and used against his enemies, not himself.

"Damn it," he hissed lowly, once again taking his seat.

Since when had his life become a chaos? Why hadn't things stayed simple as they were a few years ago?

Leaning his head back, he stared up at the night sky. There were many stars that claimed the dark abyss. Each one brought a light to it, brightening it up ever so slightly. The moon was no different; almost in its full state of glory. The day to come would be the night of the full moon, as well as the defeat of his father. Tomorrow his half blooded sibling would be born… His mouth formed a hard line with that thought.

His father was going to throw all his strength away for the sake of a mortal woman and a half bred child. He openly scowled at the word half breed. He never thought he would find himself using it as a term against another… as an insult…

"Tomorrow will decide everything…"

* * *

His brows came together as he caught a familiar scent in the air. It was the scent of blood… and of death. The death was further away, but he knew that the blood was that of his father. His mouth was a hard line at the scent. His father had been challenged and had come out the victor. With a price of a challenge come wounds… and he could tell that his father's wound was great.

As he came upon the cape of the ocean, he saw his father standing as still as possible; the wind blowing the scent of blood his way. It was if it was taunting him; telling him that his father would not be at full strength.

"Father, do you insist on going?" he questioned, a last request to stop him.

"Do you intend to stop me Sesshoumaru?"

"I will not stand in your way," he stated reluctantly, wanting greatly to stop his father from this insanity, "but before you go, you must entrust the swords Sounga and Tetsusaiga to me."

"…And if I refuse? Will you kill me? Your own father?"

His jaw tightened at his father's words. There was nothing he wanted more than to rip his claws through his father's flesh…

"…Do you desire power so much?" his father questioned, not turning to face him, "Why do you seek power my son?"

"The path I walk is the way of supreme conquest, and it is power that will reveal the way for me."

"…Supreme conquest…" his father murmured, "Tell me Sesshoumaru, have you someone to protect?"

He raised his claw then. His father had known what he had wanted to protect… what was rightfully his to keep safe. It was known that she was gone… because they forced her away…

"…Protect?" his asked his father, "The answer is no. I, Sesshoumaru, have no need of such."

Now was the time to strike. Now was the moment he had been waiting many years for… Then why wouldn't his feet move? Why could he not make the strike he had longed to make?

_Give me a second go,  
_

_Don't let me go alone  
_

_You saw me at the worst,  
_

_You caught me falling first  
_

_All I wanted to know,  
_

_Give me a second go_

His golden orbs watched as his father took to his form and ran off into the night.

"Why would I have any reason to waste my time protecting someone?" he hissed as he turned to leave, "Ridiculous."

His father had once said that Nina would have been the same as the mortal woman he had bedded. That she would need as much protection against demons. But he knew better than to treat her as something so frail. Half demons were not as breakable as a mere human was. His fist tightened at the thought. His father would die protecting that woman and her half bred child… his sibling…

He let out a growl before the wind swirled around him. He had no desire to think; to acknowledge that his father would die by someone else's blade. He took to his true form before running along the coastline. The ocean was somewhere he needed to be. It was where his mind could be elsewhere.

* * *

Days passed as he sat on the frozen cliff listening to the sound of the ocean waves. IT had snowed more than once since he had seen his father… since he had transformed. There had been no reason to change back. Nothing had brought recognition of the real world to his senses.

Demons left him alone as he sat in place; many having inferior auras compared to his own. Humans came nowhere near him. Everyone stayed clear of the area which pleased his inner demon. It was slowly coming into control as he waited.

* * *

Spring came as he had traveled through the trees of many forests. He had made a trip to see Bokusenou, an old tree demon that his father had been acquaintances with. The tree had been a reliable source of information in the past. He believed that he would be able to find something from the old demon.

"It is good to see you are well, lord Sesshoumaru," the tree greeted him as he walked forward.

"You as well Bokusenou," he stated, looking up at the tree's face, "I see that Toutousai has paid you a visit as well."

"I am sorry that they have such fear of you, lord Sesshoumaru."

"They are wise, though it seems that I must pay the sword maker a visit as well," he said tonelessly, taking the sword from where it was hanging.

The tree let out a small laugh at his words.

"Your father was right. You have no appreciation for the Tenseiga," Bokusenou mused, "Though I agree, it would be quite useless."

"The half breed receives the Tetsusaiga, while I get this useless fang."

"Keep an eye on your gifts lord Sesshoumaru. Some might find you fortunate and try to take the fang for themselves."

Without a word, he turned and left the old tree behind. For receiving the Tenseiga, Toutousai would have to receive punishment. There was no use for the fang. He had waited through the winter only to have no one disturb him. He had gotten no visitors at all. She had not come to the ocean and there was no scent of her. He began to think that she had died… that a demon had devoured her.

_No matter the weather there's never a break  
_

_Conquer a ladder then slip on a snake  
_

_Cried till my river turned into a lake  
_

_And I'm wondering now before it's too late_

_How come you save me when I am angry  
_

_Reasons I'll never know_

If that had been the case and he had come across her remains, the Tenseiga would be useless. If she were bone, the fang could not restore flesh and her heart. The damned would still hold onto her and he would not see her for many years to come. His half breed brother would see her before he would.

He shook his head as he silently walked through the forest. Was that it then? Was he to just give up and move onto another? He would not pass the title of lord down to his brother. IT would go to his own child if he were to ever have one.

His thoughts were interrupted as the scent of death and fresh blood filled his nose. There had been a village near by the last time he had traveled the way to Bokusenou's forest. It must have been under attack by demons…

As he considered the situation, his feet led to way toward the village. He needed something to sink his claws into. When he arrived at the burning village, he could see the slaughter. There were five demons rampaging through the huts; killing each person that they could reach. Each one was male and each one was filling their human bloodlust. When one took hold of a woman and pulled them close, he found the need to interfere.

There was no desire to save the humans that were running in a panic. All he could imagine was the people from Nina's village taking their hatred out on her.

"You look like you're going to be tasty," the demon laughed, inspecting the woman, "I think I'll take you home with him and save you for later."

"No!" the woman screamed, "Get away from me!"

"Oh, I'll be getting quite close to you…"

He released his acid green whip and killed the demon, slicing him in half. The woman screamed out of terror before running for the cover of the forest. The other four demons had caught the scene and came to stop the intruder of their fun and pleasure.

"Be gone from this place mutt," one demanded, "We have a job that needs to be done here. You're in the way."

"I say we just kill him now," another mused.

"While we speak our prey gets away. I agree," stated a third.

"Master Jensuke would not be impressed with an intruder," continued the first, taking a step toward him, "but he would be grateful if we handed him Sesshoumaru's soul…"

"It is lord Sesshoumaru to the inferior," he corrected emotionlessly, cracking his right claw.

"Is that right?"

Lifting his arm, he summoned his whip and cut all four of the demons to pieces.

"I am sure Jensuke would have more of you before you returned," he stated before turning to walk away.

"You're right lord Sesshoumaru," an unfamiliar voice laughed from behind him, "I do have more minions, but you should let the old ones finish their jobs before you kill them on me."

He turned, catching sight of the dark haired figure standing not too far away from him.

The man bowed before him, "It is a pleasure to meet you, lord Sesshoumaru. I am Jensuke, a dealer of souls."

He had recalled the demon from a text he had once read a few years ago. The demon would trade souls with both humans and demons, making them collect even more souls for his collection. The more souls that he kept, the younger he stayed. IT was said that he was over a thousand years of age.

"I am aware of who you are," he stated, watching him intently, "This is your cause?"

"It was until you took a step into my business. Though, as you are the lord, I am bound by your law."

"Do as you wish. What you do is none of my concern," he explained as he began to leave the burning village.

"Until we cross paths again in the future lord Sesshoumaru."

IT was with that that he left the village. He didn't understand why he had stepped in to kill the demons. He had once destroyed a village of larger size… A village that was now nothing more than piles of rotted wood and broken tree trunks. Skeletons scattered through the poisonous fog; left as a warning for others.

"I wonder what she would say if she was what I had done…"

What he had done because of her.

* * *

Summer past and so did many winter moons. Years had passed since his father had died and he had become fully grown. His strength had increased greatly and he was at his fullest height. Many trips were made to Bokusenou, but there had been no word of a blue eyed half breed running through the trees.

_Give me a second go,  
_

_Don't let me go alone  
_

_You saw me at the worst,  
_

_You caught me falling first  
_

_All I wanted to know,  
_

_Give me a second go_

He had even been to see Inuyasha. There had been word about his mother being ill and falling to the illness. He had gone to give his half breed brother condolences, but he did not feel sorry for the pup. As the illness had taken Inuyasha's mother, it had been the same woman that had killed his father. He believed that the situation seemed fair, though the young Inuyasha couldn't see it. The boy had merely cried and clung to his leg when he had gotten there. Then he cried even harder when he refused to take the boy with him.

If he had taken the boy with him and babied him, then he would never learn anything for himself. He would not learn what it means to be strong.

As he walked down the roads toward a small village, a woman wearing fine silks was running down the road in his direction.

"Help me please," she begged frantically, "Bandits raided my cart and now they're chasing me. Please, you have to help me!"

He could catch no scent of a lie as his golden orbs inspected the woman. Her hair was a black as dark as the night and he skin was like porcelain. Her demeanor reminded him of his mother.

Horses thundered in behind her; ten men with their swords rose above their heads.

"There she is! Someone, grab the wench!" one of the men demanded with a laugh, "I want all her silk ready to be sold in the market!"

He ran forward with quick speed, blocking their path to the woman. He grabbed the leading me by the head, throwing him into the ground. The man that followed was thrown into the tangling branches of a tree.

The others paused, halting their horses at what had happened to their friends.

"You should be showing us some respect!" a man growled from the group.

Swinging his arm, his whip killed two men with the swift movement.

"Or… not…"

"Let's get out of here!"

The bandits pulled on the reigns, turning their horses around and going back to way they came.

He turned toward the woman whose brown eyes were staring at him with wonder. At her expression, he continued to walk on his way.

"Please sir, would you stay a moment?"

"I do not take the request of another," he stated simply, not stopping as he walked by the four defeated men.

"I would like to thank you for saving me," the woman continued, "I am the lady of a manor not far from here. I can reward you."

"None is required from one such as you."

A small hand took hold of his and tried to stop him from walking. He turned to her, his cold eyes boring into hers. She was not frightened from him though. She looked back at him with the exact expression he was giving her.

"If I may not reward you now, then please come to my manor when you so choose," the woman told him before releasing his hand, "I ask that you do not kill my guards when you make an appearance."

She walked past him then, making her way back toward the village she had run from.

It was then that he proceeded into the forest. He could not deny that the woman had grabbed his attention. Only one other had dared to look fiercely back at him when he had stated no.

_One to five I'm half alive, six to nine I'm out of line  
_

_Ten to twelve I'm not myself, by the millionth time  
_

_I cry._

After years of waiting and finding nothing, he was sure that Nina had been lost. He would still look for her, but he wasn't sure if he would be able to find hi childhood friend. If she was still alive, then he would explain the truth and hope that she would still hold onto their childhood promise.

**End of Prequel**


	10. Epilogue

_**Epilogue**_

The wind blew through the night, rustling the leaves of the trees. Something sweet was caught in the salty scent of the ocean; something that caught his attention. He wondered if it was the scent of an early spring flower or the morning dew mixed with a light frost. All he knew was that the scent reminded him of something from the western plains… something from home…

As the breeze stopped, the scent disappeared and the salty scent of the ocean water remained. It was early morning, at time where the sun had yet to rise over the horizon. He returned to this place often, but always on the same day every year… A day that had been a large piece of his childhood.

He broke through the trees and stood on the high cliff, listening to the waves thrashing against the stone wall. Winter had come to the end of its season, turning into early spring. The day began as it had every year, rather gloomy but peaceful.

His peace was disturbed however when he heard something hit the rocks to his left. The noise drew his amber orbs and he was surprised to see a girl lying on the cliff not too far away.

"Make it stop!" she growled as she nearly jumped to her feet.

The wind blew in his direction, blowing the same sweet scent as before toward him. He took the scent in before he watched the girl take a leap off the edge of the cliff into the ocean.


End file.
